Fantasy Football Draft Day Running Log – “Dry Heat” edition

Here we go with a marathon 2-day running log capturing the excitement and pageantry of two live fantasy football drafts. One of those drafts is the 20-year anniversary the league better known as “Sizzling”. To commemorate the “Sizzling” anniversary the owners decided to hold the draft in the outer layer of hell, Las Vegas.

As has become tradition Colin’s here to call the fantasy winners and losers for each round, as well as provide inside information on what really happens at these drafts.

The first leg of the journey begins with the Friday night edition of the “Dry Heat” league, held at a place called Half Moon, where they have graced the place with pictures of random people playing sports with their pants half way down, exposing their crack, oh I get it “Half Moons”.

7:05 PM – With 10 minutes until the first pick is supposed to be made I can tell the crossover owners (five in total that are part of both leagues) who are either flying early in AM or, gulp, driving to Vegas the next day are getting nervous about the turnaround time. It will be interesting to see if the “day of” commuters for that league are at a disadvantage to the “day before” owners. I mean it is Vegas after all it might not be a huge advantage to be up there a day early, right? Think about one of the owners simply telling himself, “Ok, let’s hit a casino and have some fun. $200 and 2 hours is your limit. You lose the $200 you’re back in the hotel preparing for the draft. At the two hour mark, you politely excuse yourself to head back to the hotel”. Next thing said owner knows is its 6AM with them on a park bench.

Let’s set the stage on the venue – horrible lighting, not private as we have a group of about 10 or so that is giving us a look like “why are you infringing upon our time?” and we have Lou Diamond Phillips serving us. Pretty much an epic fail!

7:13 PM – Ron Is a new owner in this league when an owner dropped out at virtually the last minute for personal reasons. Huh? What person reason could ever prevent a person from participating in a fantasy league, I mean other than spontaneous colitis, I guess.

Anyway, Ron has been playing since 1984! Wow, 1984! That must have been something getting the weekly results on stone tablets delivered by the Pony Express on two Tuesdays after the week. Though I have heard that they used to have real time scoring via telegraph back in those days!

7:15 PM – And the first pick is . . . Still waiting. One interesting thing about this year is that “data entry boy”, the fine gentleman who volunteers his time to enter the picks into the computer is without his sidekick (kind of like Ace without Gary), “board boy”, the fine gentleman who volunteers his time to place the stickers on the draft board. We probably just lost roughly 75% of the comedic value of this running log. I am just warning you up front.

7:18 PM – Waiting . . . let’s try to predict the first round. Keepers that probably would have gone in the first round are Arian Foster, CJ.8K and Darren McFadden. Hmm, so given that I will go with the following prediction: 1. Aaron Rodgers, 2. Ray Rice, 3. LeSean McCoy, 4. Tom Brady, 5. Calvin Johnson, 6. Drew Brees, 7. Matt Forte, 8. Marshawn Lynch, 9. Jimmy Graham, 10. Andre Johnson, 11. Steven Jackson and 12. Maurice Jones-Drew.

I have it on good authority that if the first eight picks fall that way in order that Graham will be the 9th pick.

7:22 PM – Oh wow, wow! That is a shocker! Calvin Johnson is the first pick! I can’t see that over Rice or McCoy.

7:24 PM – This is really where it gets tough – at pick 1.3. And data entry boy already having problems at pick 1.3 – “How do you spell Rogers?”

7:28 PM – Pick #8 from a team named Blinkers On is Drew Brees, Cleveland Steamers on deck at #9 slams his notepad down loudly. Now that could mean one of two things – 1. He is gaming the other owner. The feeling a fantasy owner gets when they believe the just screwed a fellow owner out of a player is just below orgasmic. So how is does this con work? Well, let’s say an owner think he has hi-jacked another owners pick a few times early in the draft, his tendency, and that of all fantasy owners, would be to continue hi-jacking this guys picks even if it meant taking someone he doesn’t necessarily want. Once the “jacking” owner is in full fledged “eff-you” mode, the jacked owner has sucked him and can begin talking a little louder about his next pick and viola, the hi-jacking owner is fully under his power!; or 2. Steamers were legitimately screwed.

My guess is this was the latter – that was too much unadulterated anger to be merely an attempt to set up the owner.

And as predicted, the Steamers take Jimmy Graham with the 9th pick overall. Horrible pick, right? Well, let’s consider Steamers does not have a second round pick, therefore no chance to get Graham except at 9, the way the draft is going it appears that there will be plenty of RB available later, the league scoring benefits the TE and no Robert Meachem this year in New Orleans. Ok, forget that part about Meachem.

7:32 PM – Hakeem Nicks closes out the first round, and immediately his agent calls the Giants informing them that his client wants to renegotiate his contract.

Pick

Franchise

Selection

1.01 Convicts Johnson, Calvin DET WR
1.02 Annihilators Rice, Ray BAL RB
1.03 D’oh! Rodgers, Aaron GBP QB
1.04 The Dark Side McCoy, LeSean PHI RB
1.05 Clive City Council Forte, Matt CHI RB
1.06 Sugar Daddy’s Brady, Tom NEP QB
1.07 Show Me Your TDs!!!! Fitzgerald, Larry ARI WR
1.08 Blinkers On Brees, Drew NOS QB
1.09 Cleveland Steamers Graham, Jimmy NOS TE
1.10 Fighting Squirrels Johnson, Andre HOU WR
1.11 DA BOYZ FROM NYC Lynch, Marshawn SEA RB
1.12 Desperados Nicks, Hakeem NYG WR
Colin Wynner calls the round winner and loser:
Winner D’oh, lookie at what fell to me!
Loser Show Me Your TD’s, Fitz has first round talent, now we just need to tell Whisenhunt!

And the first pick of the 2nd round is Julio Jones. So far this draft is bringing to light that there is no value in running back this season, Julio Jones ahead of Steven Jackson or Jamaal Charles, that would have never back in the “RB/RB” days. Realistically outside of Foster, McCoy and Rice, everyone else is a crapshoot.

7:33 PM – Cam Newton goes in the 2nd, the surprise is that he was actually available and not a 17th round keeper like he is in just about every other league. The net effect of Cam’s once in a lifetime 2011 rookie season – Andrew Luck and RGIII will go about 10 rounds too early this season.

7:36 PM – I just realized that a keeper trade made in the off-season has allowed one team 4 of the top 26 picks, in addition to having Matthew Stafford as a keeper. So, after some investigation, someone paid a second round pick for Arian Foster and 16th rounder. Considering the owner of Arian Foster couldn’t keep him anyway, that is a “Herschel Walker to the Vikings” type of deal. And as we make our way to the end of the 2nd round, with three of those four picks – the roster is Brandon Marshall, Steve Smith, Ray Rice and Matthew Stafford. Clearly that is the favorite two rounds into the draft.

Pick

Franchise

Selection

2.01 Desperados Jones, Julio ATL WR
2.02 DA BOYZ FROM NYC Jackson, Steven STL RB
2.03 Clive City Council Newton, Cam CAR QB
2.04 Show Me Your TDs!!!! Charles, Jamaal KCC RB
2.05 Blinkers On Welker, Wes NEP WR
2.06 Annihilators Marshall, Brandon CHI WR
2.07 Sugar Daddy’s Jennings, Greg GBP WR
2.08 Fighting Squirrels White, Roddy ATL WR
2.09 The Dark Side Ryan, Matt ATL QB
2.10 D’oh! Hernandez, Aaron NEP TE
2.11 Annihilators Smith, Steve CAR WR
2.12 Convicts Cruz, Victor NYG WR
Colin Wynner calls the round winner and loser:
Winner Fighting Squirrels, Wow, Roddy White after Julio is amazing. I say Roddy is targeted more than Julio
Loser Cleveland Steamers,
no second round pick with a TE and a oft injured running back, not a good start

7:41 PM – There is a horrible vibe to this draft because – 1. The room is very dark; 2. It’s hard to hear picks as called; and 3. I just realized that ratio of male to female “half moon” pictures is about 50/50. Maybe this is a “Blue . . .” type of bar.

7:45 PM – Oh no, Steamers just made a critical mistake. I know a little about the history of this league, and it’s safe to say Steamers has dominated the league, winning two out of five years and having the highest career winning percentage. He is the Bill Belichick of this league. Well, that is until this year, where he has turned into Mike Martz. Either Steamer is trying to add a level of difficulty, like they do in Olympic diving or he is clueless. AP just went in between Clev’s picks of Fred Jackson and Ryan Mathews. Three weeks into the season, Steaming pile of roster crap won’t be able to trade both those guys for AP.

7:48 PM – Now I get it – this is a bizarro draft. It used to be a staple of every fantasy, running backs going early in drafts, but in this draft six RBs just went in the third round – and four of them are former first round fantasy running back. MJD, Doug Martin, Fred Jackson, Adrian Peterson, Ryan Mathews and Willis McGahee. Yeah, believe it or not McGahee was once drafted in the first round!

Pick

Franchise

Selection

3.01 Convicts Manning, Eli NYG QB
3.02 Annihilators Bryant, Dez DAL WR
3.03 D’oh! Jones-Drew, Maurice JAC RB
3.04 The Dark Side Martin, Doug TBB RB (R)
3.05 Clive City Council Colston, Marques NOS WR
3.06 Sugar Daddy’s Gates, Antonio SDC TE
3.07 Cleveland Steamers Jackson, Fred BUF RB
3.08 Blinkers On Peterson, Adrian MIN RB
3.09 Cleveland Steamers Mathews, Ryan SDC RB
3.10 Fighting Squirrels Wallace, Mike PIT WR
3.11 DA BOYZ FROM NYC McGahee, Willis DEN RB
3.12 Desperados Rivers, Philip SDC QB
Colin Wynner calls the round winner and loser:
Winner Fighting Squirrels, Wow, Roddy White after Julio is amazing. I say Roddy is targeted more than Julio this season.
Loser Cleveland Steamers,
no third round pick either.

7:51 PM – Some gay bashing by data entry boy – “Romo the Homo”, hmm, that’s the first time I’ve heard that. My guess is that was the number one cut on Romo starting in about third grade when one kid, sort of, knew what homo meant. You know the kid, the one with the swinger parents, who were very liberal with sharing sexual knowledge with little Johnny. So, even though the other kids had no clue what a “homo” was, it rolled off the tongue so well that they couldn’t stop themselves.

8:02 PM – Malcom Floyd goes in the 4th round. Maybe, just maybe, this will be the year that Floyd finally reaches his ceiling. Because you know that old rule about wide receivers in their 8th year. Or maybe everyone will realize once and for all that his ceiling is about 6′ 5″.

8:08 PM – What is this a state run league? We’re taking a break after the 4th round. Where are the four guys supervising data entry boy?

Pick

Franchise

Selection

4.01 Desperados Richardson, Trent CLE RB (R)
4.02 DA BOYZ FROM NYC Romo, Tony DAL QB
4.03 Fighting Squirrels Vick, Michael PHI QB
4.04 Cleveland Steamers Turner, Michael ATL RB
4.05 Blinkers On Jackson, DeSean PHI WR
4.06 Show Me Your TDs!!!! Lloyd, Brandon NEP WR
4.07 Sugar Daddy’s Gore, Frank SFO RB
4.08 Clive City Council Davis, Vernon SFO TE
4.09 The Dark Side Brown, Antonio PIT WR
4.10 D’oh! Floyd, Malcom SDC WR
4.11 Annihilators Bradshaw, Ahmad NYG RB
4.12 Convicts Green-Ellis, BenJarvus CIN RB
Colin Wynner calls the round winner and loser:
Winner The Dark Side, Honestly, I don’t like any of these picks in this round, but Brown has the best chance to be a fantasy stud amongst this group
Loser D’oh,
not a fan of Floyd in any round, but especially not in round 4. Goodness, D’Oh how could you pass up the “Law Firm”. That’s what’s called a two for one bash!

8:16 PM – Dwayne Bowe is drafted in the 5th. You know what Dwayne Bowe is like the worst girlfriend ever. Come on, if you’ve ever had Bowe on your fantasy team, you know I am right. Need confirmation? Here you go, talking about the girlfriend. For starters you’ve put her on a pedestal, you have to have her, so once you get her you think you’re the king of the world. And for a while it seems good, even great, but then she starts staying out late without letting you know where she is. Eventually, she doesn’t come home at all. Finally, you tell her you’ve had it and cannot stand it, she has to go. She crys, begs you to stay, followed by a week of doting on you. Of course, you’re back to being king of the world at this point.

But the pattern is established soon she’s back to her old tricks. You go through the process until finally you catch her cheating on you, finally you tell her “that is it!” Until, about a year later when you see her out at a club where she tells you how miserable she is without you, how she wants you back and things will be different. For those without live scoring – “pedestal” is Bowe producing on a week 17 the prior year, “seems good” is the draft where you reach to get him, “staying out late” is the first four weeks of laying an egg, “not coming home” is benching him while he has his best game to date, “begging and doting” is back in the starting lineup, going off for three touchdowns, “cheating” is single handedly destroying your fantasy team during the fantasy playoffs and “seeing at the club” is a year later where you talk yourself back into him.

Now think about it, why deal with the maintenance of a “Dwayne Bowe”, when you can have a very consistent, adoring, loving, faithful Jeremy Maclin.

8:20 PM – Four rounds in and there a few of these teams with some serious positional deficiencies. I guess not every team was able to fleece a second round pick for a player that couldn’t be kept anyway. Almost through round 5 and the following teams have one running back: Convicts with BenJarvus Green-Ellis, cue the fantasy expert with the “I like the law firm, but more as a number three or flex guy”, Sugar Daddy’s with Frank Gore, uh, I think I would bet that Gore ends up number two on the 49ers in running back fantasy points and Fighting Squirrels with Chris Johnson, honestly, there is a lot of hype on CJ this year but I’ve watched him in pre-season and it’s not much different than last season – dude does not want to get hit, period! So, all the talk from Munchak about “expect big things from CJ” this season is nothing more than an over-bearing, enabling mom ignoring her son’s obvious addiction to crack! Or something like that.

In addition, Cleveland Steamers goes to battle with Percy Harvin as their number one WR; and D’Oh has two receivers but at this point in the draft one would expect to have more than Eric Decker and Malcom Floyd.

Pick

Franchise

Selection

5.01 Convicts Thomas, Demaryius DEN WR
5.02 Annihilators Smith, Torrey BAL WR
5.03 D’oh! Decker, Eric DEN WR
5.04 The Dark Side Bowe, Dwayne KCC WR
5.05 Clive City Council Greene, Shonn NYJ RB
5.06 Sugar Daddy’s Jackson, Vincent TBB WR
5.07 Show Me Your TDs!!!! Foster, Arian HOU RB
5.08 Blinkers On Maclin, Jeremy PHI WR
5.09 Cleveland Steamers Harvin, Percy MIN WR
5.10 Fighting Squirrels Witten, Jason DAL TE
5.11 DA BOYZ FROM NYC Wayne, Reggie IND WR
5.12 Desperados Bush, Reggie MIA RB
Colin Wynner calls the round winner and loser:
Winner Desperados, Reggie Bush is no longer Reggie Bust
Loser The Dark Side,
Dwayne Bowe, good luck!

8:22 PM – Have I mentioned that this draft has a bad vibe to it this year? And I know it has been mentioned before, but this is where it really gets tough!

8:24 PM – Uh oh, Lou Diamond Phillips, thinking DA BOYZ was finished, just picked up a plate with enough carrots to feed a medium sized farm of bunnies for a week. DA BOYZ is not happy, not happy at all, he was saving those carrots for our next break after round six. Secretly, I am happy the server took the carrots, there are few things more annoying than listening to someone chomp, chomp, chomp on carrots while trying to concentrate on this ultra thrilling fantasy draft. Actually, maybe the chomping would have helped keep me awake.

8:27 PM – I cringe as the 2nd pick of the 6th round is Robert Meachem by the DA BOYZ FROM NYC. DA BOYZ relays a story to me about trying to trade for Meachem prior to the draft to make him a keeper for an 11th round pick. I tell him, 11th is a much better spot for him! Anyway, seems the owner who held the rights to Meachem wanted a third round pick. I know someone who would have paid that price. Clueless!

8:29 PM – “Does Steve Johnson play for Buffalo?” – Data Entry Boy. Two years in a row I have heard that comment about Stevie, albeit last year it was three rounds earlier last year. The thing is, while Steve Johnson is a common name, he is the only Stevie Johnson in the NFL and the only Steve Johnson who could be drafted in a non-IDP league.

Pick

Franchise

Selection

6.01 Desperados Garcon, Pierre WAS WR
6.02 DA BOYZ FROM NYC Meachem, Robert SDC WR
6.03 Fighting Squirrels Johnson, Chris TEN RB
6.04 Cleveland Steamers Johnson, Steve BUF WR
6.05 Blinkers On Pettigrew, Brandon DET TE
6.06 Show Me Your TDs!!!! Davis, Fred WAS TE
6.07 Sugar Daddy’s Stewart, Jonathan CAR RB
6.08 Clive City Council Heyward-Bey, Darrius OAK WR
6.09 The Dark Side Austin, Miles DAL WR
6.10 D’oh! Hillis, Peyton KCC RB
6.11 Annihilators Stafford, Matthew DET QB
6.12 Convicts Ingram, Mark NOS RB
Colin Wynner calls the round winner and loser:
Winner The Dark Side, Miles Austin, outside of some minor injury concerns that’s a great pick in round 6. “Nice Pick”
Loser DA BOYZ FROM NYC,
Robert Meachem, see Dwayne Bowe

8:29 PM – Crap, Seattle is carving up Kansas City in KC. I can see the drunken square bettors stumbling to the betting window to play the over on the Seahawks season wins, thus forcing that number north before I get up there and have a chance to hammer the over. Reason 1,103 why this draft sucks – I couldn’t head up to Vegas the day before to get acclimated to the altitude. The highlights from that game just showed a great catch by T.O. – coming up next to the Dry Heat league, Terrell Owens in the 7th round.

8:35 PM – Is there a more punch-able face in the MLB than Nick Swisher? Of course A-Rod has the “most punch-able face” in the history of the world, so we cannot include him in the discussion. But Swisher has to be right there, right? With that smart-aleck look on his face about 99.9% of the time, you know the one where he loves to be hated, like Derek Huff in Step Brothers, except without the abs of steel and, Swisher looks like he lives in Carb city.

8:40 PM – Peyton Manning is drafted in round 7! Steamers let out a “Let’s go Donkeys!” Good luck with him as your number uno, one whiplash hit and homie is going to look like a bobble head.

8:42 PM – Stevan Ridley goes in the 7th because you know the Patriots love to ride one guy. Here is a proposal for a new rule for next year – each owner gets the option of doing a one-time coupling of same position, teammates together provided that both are available when drafting. For example, an owner can couple J-Stew and DeAngelo Williams together, which means all fantasy points would be combined for the pair as one position. It would certainly liven up a draft like this, though you would have to think the first 12 picks would have to be couplings. Let’s think about what the first round would look like in a complete re-draft league:

  1. A. Foster/B.Tate – HOU
  2. J. Jones/R.White – ATL
  3. V. Cruz/H. Nicks – NYG
  4. M. Austin/D. Bryant – DAL
  5. R. Gronkowski/A. Hernandez – NEP
  6. J. Charles/P. Hillis – KC
  7. J. Stewart/D. Williams – CAR
  8. M. Forte/M. Bush – CHI
  9. F. Jackson/C.J. Spiller – BUF
  10. M. Wallace/A. Brown – PIT
  11. J. Maclin/D. Jackson – PHI
  12. A. Peterson/T. Gerhart – MIN
Pick

Franchise

Selection

7.01 Convicts Williams, Ryan ARI RB
7.02 Annihilators Young, Titus DET WR
7.03 D’oh! Moore, Denarius OAK WR
7.04 The Dark Side Brown, Donald IND RB
7.05 Clive City Council Green, A.J. CIN WR
7.06 Sugar Daddy’s Rice, Sidney SEA WR
7.07 Show Me Your TDs!!!! Holmes, Santonio NYJ WR
7.08 Blinkers On Wells, Beanie ARI RB
7.09 Cleveland Steamers Manning, Peyton DEN QB
7.10 Fighting Squirrels Ridley, Stevan NEP RB
7.11 DA BOYZ FROM NYC Gonzalez, Tony ATL TE
7.12 Desperados Tamme, Jacob DEN TE
Colin Wynner calls the round winner and loser:
Winner The Dark Side, Donald Brown. Getting a starting running back who will get the majority of the touches in the 7th round qualifies as a steal
Loser Sugar Daddy’s,
Sidney Rice. Bottom line this is a legacy pick, dude’s not going to be a factor again, regardless of how good he could have been.

8:45 PM – The 8th round, this is where it gets tough!

8:47 PM – This is more like a croquet match than a fantasy draft – translation – really, really boring.

8:51 PM – Nick Swisher might have the most punch-able face in MLB right now, but Roger Clemens has the most punch-able face in the world. I mean if given one free shot to the kisser of either, Clemens or Ayman al-Zawahiri, for me it’s Clemens every day and twice on Sunday. By the way, al-Zawahiri is the new leader of the al-Qaeda now that bin Laden has been killed again.

The mention of al-Qaeda, it really makes me wonder what is going on in this country that a mere 15 months ago the masses were chanting “U-S-A, U-S-A” and “O-BAH-MAH” after we got bin Laden. And yet those same masses are now the primary reason Mitt Romney has pulled even in the latest presidential polls.

Anyway, yeah, Clemens has the most punch-able face, even more so now that Raj has put on weight. And if Clemens were a chick wouldn’t he complain about, “When I gain weight it all goes to my face!” He is giving Hilary Clinton a real run for largest jowls on the planet. Or maybe, Roger is simply back on the juice and his head is growing at the rate of the illegal’s setting up shop in the US (well, at least they’re paying taxes). Clemens is on the news proclaiming Lance Armstrong innocence. Lance get ready for a supportive call from Clemens – “If you believe it hard enough, hoss, then it’s true!” Ok, Raja! Good God, just go away already!

Back to the draft – there was a mini-run on tight ends – Owen Daniels, Dustin Keller and Greg Olsen. I like Olsen to beat the combined score of Keller and Daniels.

Another break, at this pace I might just be able to leave from here to the airport.

Hmm, I see the Bucs plowed the Patriots tonight. Nice, everyone one of my sleeper teams is looking great the night before I can bet on them. And you know, the Bucs take care of the Pats in week three and all of a sudden every “Johnny D-Bag” is like,” you know that Bucs team might not be so bad, we should bet on the season win over.” It only takes a few bettors to make these bookies nervous these days, with the margins so tight and the reality that football is what keeps most books in business. Ugh!

Pick

Franchise

Selection

8.01 Desperados Daniels, Owen HOU TE
8.02 DA BOYZ FROM NYC Keller, Dustin NYJ TE
8.03 Fighting Squirrels Olsen, Greg CAR TE
8.04 Cleveland Steamers Blackmon, Justin JAC WR (R)
8.05 Blinkers On Benson, Cedric GBP RB
8.06 Show Me Your TDs!!!! Britt, Kenny TEN WR
8.07 Sugar Daddy’s Helu, Roy WAS RB
8.08 Clive City Council Boldin, Anquan BAL WR
8.09 The Dark Side Wilson, David NYG RB (R)
8.10 D’oh! McFadden, Darren OAK RB
8.11 Annihilators Schaub, Matt HOU QB
8.12 Convicts Gronkowski, Rob NEP TE
Colin Wynner calls the round winner and loser:
Winner Blinkers On, Cedric Benson. Why not? He looks to be the lead back in a fairly effective offense.
Loser DA BOYZ FROM NYC,
Dustin Keller. For someone who constantly complains about Sanchez. . .

9:13 PM – “And the run on kickers begins . . .” not really, it’s the 9th round, way too early for a kicker. Though I think, given the keeper rules, the days of taking a kicker with the last pick are over, those last few picks have to be reserved for the Cam Newtons, RG III and Andrew Luck type of guys that you can get late and stash.

9:14 PM – A certain lifelong Rams fan and noted Cardinals homer just took his second 49er of the draft – Michael Craptree. Reason #246 “Why I hate Fantasy football” – I fan of a team has become so numb that they draft players from teams they have cheered for before fantasy football. It’s like the ultimate hedge – well, if the 49ers crush the Rams but Craptree has a big game well then that’s ok because my fantasy team had a big game! Mark it down fantasy football will be death of the NFL!

9:13 PM – And the cherry on rookie quarterbacks is broken. RG III in the ninth round, meaning that with the current rules, he can be kept for two additional years. The rules state that an owner can keep a player drafted in 4th or later rounds for one year at the originally drafted round. In successive years the player can be kept for three rounds earlier until the keeper round is inside three. So, by pulling the trigger on RGIII in the 9th, the owner shorted himself one year of having RGIII. But it appears as though this owner is going “all in” on RG III, as this is his only quarterback.

9:17 PM – Mike Williams, WR, TB just went. Since there have been more than a few Mike Williams, WR, it got me thinking about another new rule – the first owner to draft a player gets all fantasy points for that name. Mike Williams gets you all the points for Mike Williams of Tampa Bay and the Mike Williams of Seattle.

9:18 PM – So, if I told you that a running back split would be the following – carries – RB1- 50%, RB2 – 40% and RB3 – 10%, receptions RB1 – 20%, RB2 – 50% and RB3 – 30% and goal line carries – RB1 – 10%, RB2 – 30% and RB3 – 60%, would you guess that RB1 went four rounds later than RB2? I should also mention that this team has QB1 who scored somewhere around 800 rushing touchdowns last season (14 actually). DeAngelo Williams is still available in the 9th round, Jonathon Stewart went in the 6th. Hmmm.

Pick

Franchise

Selection

9.01 Convicts Moore, Lance NOS WR
9.02 Annihilators Celek, Brent PHI TE
9.03 D’oh! Akers, David SFO PK
9.04 The Dark Side Washington, Nate TEN WR
9.05 Clive City Council Smith, Kevin DET RB
9.06 Sugar Daddy’s Crabtree, Michael SFO WR
9.07 Show Me Your TDs!!!! Griffin III, Robert WAS QB (R)
9.08 Blinkers On Fleener, Coby IND TE (R)
9.09 Cleveland Steamers Williams, Mike TBB WR
9.10 Fighting Squirrels Flacco, Joe BAL QB
9.11 Fighting Squirrels Wright, Kendall TEN WR (R)
9.12 Desperados Cutler, Jay CHI QB
Colin Wynner calls the round winner and loser:
Winner Desperados, Jay Cutler. Big time talent on that Bears offense, enough so that not even Cutler can screw it up.
Loser D’oh,
David Akers. OK, so even if David Akers is the number one kicker this year, is he really that much better than the second or third best kicker. And I would make a bet that Akers won’t finish in the top five.

9:27 PM – Felix Jones goes in the 10th round, I asked the Demarco Murray owner if he was upset not to get the handcuff. He told me he would rather have a zero than Felix Jones. Yeah, I think Felix is a little bit like Malcom Floyd, with seemingly endless potential but the reality is they just aren’t that good. In Felix’ case he wouldn’t be on an NFL roster if he attended any other college besides Arkansas.

9:29 PM – Bilal Powell is selected with the beaming owner proclaiming “he will be the starting running back by week three.” Hmm, yeah just like Delone Carter in 2011, Kareem Huggins in 2010 and James Davis in 2009.

Pick

Franchise

Selection

10.01 Desperados Rodgers, Jacquizz ATL RB
10.02 DA BOYZ FROM NYC Collie, Austin IND WR
10.03 Clive City Council Roethlisberger, Ben PIT QB
10.04 Cleveland Steamers Rudolph, Kyle MIN TE
10.05 Blinkers On Fitzpatrick, Ryan BUF QB
10.06 Show Me Your TDs!!!! Williams, DeAngelo CAR RB
10.07 Sugar Daddy’s Jones, Felix DAL RB
10.08 Clive City Council Gerhart, Toby MIN RB
10.09 The Dark Side Gresham, Jermaine CIN TE
10.10 D’oh! Starks, James GBP RB
10.11 Annihilators Powell, Bilal NYJ RB
10.12 Convicts Moss, Randy SFO WR
Colin Wynner calls the round winner and loser:
Winner Cleveland Steamers, Kyle Rudolph. I have to throw my boy Steamer a bone here, tough draft, but he might have netted a top 10 TE in the 10th round.
Loser Sugar Daddy’s,
Felix Jones. Completely worthless and psst, he won’t be the guy to take over if Murray gets hurt.

9:35 PM – Oh man, now that was a ballsy move. It appears as though the Red Sox and Dodgers have completed a mega deal that will send Josh Beckett, aka the cancer, Adrian Gonzalez, Carl “I used to steal bases, now I just steal money” Crawford and Nick Punto to the Dodgers. As a Sawx fan, I really, really hate to see Punto go! I guess the Dodgers are printing money over at 1000 Elysian Park Ave because they only way a team would ever take on that much useless payroll would be if they had money to burn. Do you think the bank that approved the financing for the $2 billion is getting a little nervous that this team won’t be able to make their payments? And how did the Sox forget to include John Lackey included in this deal, or was that the tipping point? The Dodgers said, “Yeah, we will take Lackey but you have to give us Middlebrooks as well.”

This is a win/win deal for both teams – for the Red Sox they shed 260 million in payroll for under-performing players. Simply put Carl Crawford was a horrible fit in Boston, but in LA where “there better things to do than analyze the swing of a player who relies on speed in an attempt to determine whether they can still hit over .300 when their speed is gone” he will be back to swiping 50 bags a year, hitting over .300 and playing above average defense.

Beckett’s time in Boston had come, but in the National League west he has a chance to shine. Just imagine being a pitcher in the American League, where most nights you have to face nine competent hitters. It’s grueling and for a pitcher who has lost his best stuff, well, it’s deadly. But now you get to go to the National League, where once every couple innings steps up the pitcher. Plus, most NL teams play small-ball, so they’re constantly giving away free outs. It’s like heaven. And don’t think he won’t benefit from being out of Boston and the limelight, either.

Gonzalez is the piece of this deal that hurts the most to watch leave, but again, one thing the Red Sox front office has done a poor job of in the past seven years is forgetting where they play baseball. The Sawx play 162 seasons each year and if they qualify for the post-season the intensity is tripled. Gonzalez isn’t ill-suited for that environment, but he is a west coast guy, he’ll thrive in LA, he was mediocre in Boston.

The Sox came out ahead on this deal if they received a box of autographed game used Magic Johnson shoes, the fact they got a couple top 15 prospects is a bonus.

Hey wait, I just remembered this is about football, yeah, football.

Pick

Franchise

Selection

11.01 Convicts Simpson, Jerome MIN WR
11.02 Annihilators Spiller, C.J. BUF RB
11.03 D’oh! Tate, Ben HOU RB
11.04 The Dark Side Finley, Jermichael GBP TE
11.05 Clive City Council Cook, Jared TEN TE
11.06 Sugar Daddy’s Cassel, Matt KCC QB
11.07 Show Me Your TDs!!!! Moss, Santana WAS WR
11.08 Blinkers On Nelson, Jordy GBP WR
11.09 Cleveland Steamers Royster, Evan WAS RB
11.10 Fighting Squirrels Thomas, Pierre NOS RB
11.11 DA BOYZ FROM NYC LaFell, Brandon CAR WR
11.12 Desperados Little, Greg CLE WR
Colin Wynner calls the round winner and loser:
Winner DA BOYZ FROM NYC, Brandon Lafell. Number two in Carolina, with a lousy defense and a quarterback who loves to throw. Plus, you have to figure Steve Smith will be hurt for a couple of games this year.
Loser Convicts,
Jerome Simpson. Everyone is a flier here, but I would rather have Lafell, Moss or Little ahead of Simpson.

9:40 PM – This is where it gets really tough – Round 12! Here is an idea for a new fantasy league, probably mentioned in a previous year’s draft log, but here it is again:

  • Draft takes place prior to week seven, say on a Tuesday
  • Same structure as this league – 12 teams, three divisions, play against average, etc.
  • Auction style draft with no keepers, every year is a complete re-draft
  • Everyone still plays a full season long schedule, including weeks one through six. Those lineups are submitted after the draft with the “max value lineup”, records are compiled up to that point.
  • Weeks seven through thirteen are normal play weeks with each owner submitted a lineup; the exception is that the double-header against league opponents is week 13 instead of week one

Essentially you have 12 “retro” games and 14 new games. Complicated? Yes, but the thing is you get six weeks to figure out just about everything in a given season other than who will be injured after week 7. Here is a short list of pluses:

  1. You know who is pulling the “I just got paid and have no desire to play” move, a la Chris Johnson.
  2. You can get idea of what teams actually have a good defense, therefore, it makes it easier to determine a how tough a player’s playoff schedule will be
  3. A random huge game, like Chad Henne’s 45 points in week one last week make him a viable target, especially if you settled on Matt Ryan as your main guy. Ryan scored 12 points in week one, his second lowest point total of the season. Henne is a 34 point bump, for say a couple bucks late in the draft.
  4. The auction would be freaking intense
Pick

Franchise

Selection

12.01 Desperados Mendenhall, Rashard PIT RB
12.02 DA BOYZ FROM NYC Cobb, Randall GBP WR
12.03 DA BOYZ FROM NYC Hillman, Ronnie DEN RB (R)
12.04 Cleveland Steamers Baldwin, Jon KCC WR
12.05 Blinkers On Amendola, Danny STL WR
12.06 Show Me Your TDs!!!! Locker, Jake TEN QB
12.07 Sugar Daddy’s Bess, Davone MIA WR
12.08 Clive City Council Leshoure, Mikel DET RB
12.09 The Dark Side Luck, Andrew IND QB (R)
12.10 D’oh! Baldwin, Doug SEA WR
12.11 Annihilators Jeffery, Alshon CHI WR (R)
12.12 Convicts Bush, Michael CHI RB
Colin Wynner calls the round winner and loser:
Winner Desperados, Rashard Mendenhall, here is the thing with Mendy, we know he isn’t going on the PUP, so that means within six weeks he makes his debut. Let’s say to get 100% healthy and in game shape it takes him four weeks. That means worst case scenario you have probably a top 20 running for weeks 10-16 for a 12th round pick. Genius!
Loser Show Me Your TDs,
Jake Locker. I not really sure why the Titans are going with Locker, he just isn’t that good.

9:45 PM – Heading to round 13 for the better part of the draft I couldn’t tell if I was at the library studying for a final or witnessing a fantasy draft. If there was ever a league that should draft online, it would be this one. Goodness why waste the time, money and energy to get together, when we could pull this off on a random Wednesday night!

9:48 PM – Steve Breatson is the pick, which makes that the third WR from the Chiefs drafted in the first 13 rounds. Wow, does everyone realize Matt Cassel is the Chiefs quarterback? Anyway, I wish that the Chiefs would sign the following players to complement Breaston: WR Johnny Juggs, RB Billy Titons, TE Tyson Rack and QB Freddy Nipps.

Pick

Franchise

Selection

13.01 Convicts Palmer, Carson OAK QB
13.02 Annihilators Vereen, Shane NEP RB
13.03 D’oh! Breaston, Steve KCC WR
13.04 The Dark Side Jennings, Rashad JAC RB
13.05 Clive City Council Quick, Brian STL WR (R)
13.06 Sugar Daddy’s Dickson, Ed BAL TE
13.07 Show Me Your TDs!!!! Bennett, Martellus NYG TE
13.08 Blinkers On Manningham, Mario SFO WR
13.09 Cleveland Steamers Hankerson, Leonard WAS WR
13.10 Fighting Squirrels Redman, Isaac PIT RB
13.11 DA BOYZ FROM NYC Hunter, Kendall SFO RB
13.12 Desperados Henderson, Devery NOS WR
Colin Wynner calls the round winner and loser:
Winner Desperados, Devery Henderson. Still a starting WR in a pass happy, run up the score offense.
Loser Annililators,
Shane Vereen. Vereen just limped off the field with an injury.

9:55 PM – Do you think that Isiah Pead has heard the one about “Isiah Peed himself”? Is that a Berman-ism – “The Rams hand the ball off t0 Isiah Pead ‘his pants’ and he scampers into the end zone.” Or “Bradford with a short dump off to Isiah Pead ‘the bed’ who takes to the house for a St. Louis touchdown.

Pick

Franchise

Selection

14.01 Desperados Pead, Isaiah STL RB (R)
14.02 DA BOYZ FROM NYC Dalton, Andy CIN QB
14.03 Fighting Squirrels Nelson, David BUF WR
14.04 Cleveland Steamers Freeman, Josh TBB QB
14.05 Blinkers On Lewis, Marcedes JAC TE
14.06 Show Me Your TDs!!!! Robinson, Laurent JAC WR
14.07 Sugar Daddy’s Gostkowski, Stephen NEP PK
14.08 Clive City Council Janikowski, Sebastian OAK PK
14.09 The Dark Side Sanders, Emmanuel PIT WR
14.10 D’oh! Blount, LeGarrette TBB RB
14.11 Annihilators Hartley, Garrett NOS PK
14.12 Convicts Prater, Matt DEN PK
Colin Wynner calls the round winner and loser:
Winner Show Me Your TDs, Laurent Robinson. Someone has to catch the ball in Jacksonville, Robinson was fairly effective last season in Dallas.
Loser Desperados,
Isiah Pead. Not a 100% sure he is going to get the carries if something happens to S-Jax. Plus, S-Jax is the guy and really doesn’t get hurt.

10:02 PM – Two more rounds, no comments, I just want to get out of here. Well, I guess I have one comment – “This is where it gets tough!”

Pick

Franchise

Selection

15.01 Convicts Massaquoi, Mohamed CLE WR
15.02 Annihilators James, LaMichael SFO RB (R)
15.03 D’oh! Winslow, Kellen FA* TE
15.04 The Dark Side Bradford, Sam STL QB
15.05 Clive City Council Thomas, Daniel MIA RB
15.06 Sugar Daddy’s Walter, Kevin HOU WR
15.07 Show Me Your TDs!!!! Crosby, Mason GBP PK
15.08 Blinkers On Bailey, Dan DAL PK
15.09 Cleveland Steamers Bironas, Rob TEN PK
15.10 Fighting Squirrels Royal, Eddie SDC WR
15.11 DA BOYZ FROM NYC Cumberland, Jeff NYJ TE
15.12 Desperados Feely, Jay ARI PK
Colin Wynner calls the round winner and loser:
Winner Clive City Council, Daniel Thomas. Round 15, if anything happens to Bush. Remember he was expected to be the guy last year.
Loser DA BOYZ FROM NYC,
Jeff Cucumber. Never heard of this guy and in general I hate players named after a vegetable.

10:17 PM – We only went 16 rounds and all but one team had a keeper, meaning that we actually only drafted 15 rounds of players but this felt like jammed the entire 61 rounds of the MLB draft into a single day.

Pick

Franchise

Selection

16.01 Desperados Sproles, Darren NOS RB
16.02 DA BOYZ FROM NYC Hanson, Jason DET PK
16.03 Fighting Squirrels Bryant, Matt ATL PK
16.04 Cleveland Steamers Murray, DeMarco DAL RB
16.05 Blinkers On Tate, Golden SEA WR
16.06 Show Me Your TDs!!!! Scott, Bernard CIN RB
16.07 Sugar Daddy’s Brown, Ronnie SDC RB
16.08 Fighting Squirrels Jacobs, Brandon SFO RB
16.09 The Dark Side Gould, Robbie CHI PK
16.10 D’oh! Skelton, John ARI QB
16.11 Show Me Your TDs!!!! Ford, Jacoby OAK WR
16.12 Convicts Hightower, Tim FA* RB
Colin Wynner calls the round winner and loser:
Winner Sugar Daddy’s, Ronnie Brown. Likely to get at least three starts, in a good offense.
Loser Fighting Squirrels, Brandon Jacobs. Gore, Hunter, Dixon ahead of him on the depth chart, plus they have a running quarterback – what value does Jacobs bring that they don’t already have?

Good luck to all this season, may all your fantasy dreams come true!

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