NFL 2011 Week 14 Picks

The Super Wynner Contest Standings Week 13

Contestant

Last Week

Record

G-Dub

5-11

103-84-5 (.549)

Juana Wynner

12-4

99-88-5 (.529)

Megan Wynner

10-6

94-93-5 (.503)

Colin Wynner

11-5

78-93-5 (.477)

 

Juana has been on fire the last two weeks – 28-8. Trust me that will not last, in fact you can fade her big time this week.

Overall, with four weeks to play the contest is up for grabs.

With some help from Hollywood, here is a look at the week 14 picks:

American Pie, the Chuck Sherman “It was just my time, boys, just my time!”- Oakland +11.0 and Arizona +4.0, I am calling both teams as outright, upset winners this weekend. Yep, I am predicting the Packers lose their first game this weekend. It just feels like the spot to me for them to go down – non-conference game, they clinched the division, the Raiders are desperate and McCarthy secretly wants to lose a game so he doesn’t have to worry about pissing off the “investors” by benching Rodgers when the Pack are 15-0. As for the 49ers, the clinched the division last weekend and I fully expect them to come out flat this weekend. Plus, they have beaten the Cardinals like a drum recently, so the Cards are “due”.

Scarface, Tony Montana, “Who you think you f***ing with? I’m Tony Montana! You f*** with me, you f***ing with the best! I’m still standing. Come on! I take your f***ing bullet! Come on! I take your f***ing bullet! – Houston +3.0 and Chicago +3.5, the Texans and Bears have seemingly taken more bullets, via injuries, than Tony Montana at the end of Scarface, yet they are still standing. But I fully expect the Texans and T.J. Yates to end up face down in the “The World is Yours” wishing well once the playoffs begin. The Bears, well, they aren’t likely to make the playoffs, but the fact is I am now completely irrational when it comes to Broncos, so plan on me picking against every week until they are finally exposed as the frauds I believe them to be.

Juana Wynner’s Week 14 Picks

Indianapolis @ Baltimore (-16.5) – It is very hard to win by 17 points in the NFL. Baltimore’s offense is much more solid than Indianapolis’. Baltimore has Joe Flacco, which has a pretty good amount of passing yards and Ray Rice, with 926 rushing yards. Indianapolis had a better defense though. The only way to win games is by scoring and I think that the colts can cover the spread. Indianapolis +16.5

San Francisco @ Arizona (-4) – Arizona is like my sister’s soccer team. You think they might have a real chance to win and then they act like morons and give up a goal or let the ball go through their legs. Arizona does this a lot. They are ahead and then they drop the ball. San Francisco -4

Chicago @ Denver (-3.5) – Chicago does not have a very good offense. There is this girl on my sister’s soccer team who will not pass the ball to save her life. She tries to carry the ball all the way down the field and then she loses it. Just like this girl the Bears cannot carry the ball down the field at all! They can go for about 0.4 yards and then they get tackled. It’s pathetic. Denver -3.5

New England (-8.5) @ Washington– Washington doesn’t have a bad defensive line but they aren’t the best. A good team would be to run right through them. Legacy 99 White Futbol Club doesn’t necessarily have a really horrible back line but they aren’t strong at all. When they played Sereno they literally ran right past everyone in the back line and scored. New England in this case is Sereno. New England -8.0

St. Louis @ Seattle (-10) – The components of a good team, no matter what the sport is, is having a good offense and a strong defense. I like the Rams but they don’t have either of these. The only way to win a game is to score and don’t let them gain back points on you. Seattle has a pretty good offense that could most likely kill the Rams defense, and then the Rams don’t have the skills in their offense to gain those points back. Seattle -10

The Rest:

Houston +3, Oakland +12, N.Y. Jets -10.5, Detroit -9.5, Tennessee +3.5, Miami -3, Atlanta -2.5, Tampa Bay -3, N.Y. Giants +4.5, Buffalo +7

 

Top Gun, Iceman to Maverick, “You’re everyone’s problem. Every time you fly, you’re unsafe. I don’t like you. You’re dangerous.” Detroit -9.5 and Atlanta -2.5. The Lions are a collection of loose cannons, led by an insecure head coach who promotes their dysfunctional behavior. But despite that I love them to stomp the Vikings this weekend, who are still trying to figure out how to cover Demaryius Thomas. You know who else is dangerous? Cam Newton. But he is only getting 2.5 points, meaning he pretty much has to win the game this weekend and I simply cannot see the Falcons crapping their pants in back-to-back weeks.

Tommy Boy, Tommy Callahan, “Forget it. I quit. I can’t do this anymore man. My head’s about to explode. My whole life sucks. I don’t know what I’m doing.” NY Giants +4.5, Tommy couldn’t close a sale and neither can the Cowboys in December. On the flip side, Big Tom, Tommy’s dad could, according to Richard Hayden, “. . .sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves.” San Diego -7.0, the Chargers come alive in December.

Anchorman, Ron Burgundy to Wes Mantooth, “Besides, I’m sure Wes here is just upset over finishing second in the ratings again.” NY Jets -10.5 and Baltimore -16.5, seemingly always the bridesmaid to the Patriots, the Jets are beginning their typical late season push for the post-season. Tell me this scenario doesn’t sound like the Ravens: beat Pittsburgh twice but find a way to finish second in the AFC North, then win two road games in the playoffs, one in Pittsburgh, but lose to a team like the Jets in the AFC Championship game. That’s so Ravens! But that scenario won’t play out this year because they are going to take care of the Bengals, Colts, Browns and Chargers.

 

Pulp Fiction, Winston Wolf to Jules Winnfield, “Let’s not start sucking each other d***s quite yet.” Titans +3.5 and Eagles +3.0. This classic movie quote fits the Dolphins and Saints perfectly. The Saints have drubbed the Giants and Lions in the past two weeks, now they go on the road and only have to give up 3.5 points? Really? That’s the exact type of situation that will lead to this kind of explanation when the significant other asks what happen to the college fund, “Honey, the guy in front of the Sports Book had a sign that read Free Money!” And the Dolphins are being anointed as the greatest 4-8 to ever play any sport in the history of the world.

Casino, Nicky Santoro, “Got a lot of holes in the desert and a lot of problems are buried in those holes. Except you gotta do it right. I mean, you gotta have the hole already dug before you show up wiith a package in the trunk. Otherwise, you’re talking about a half hour or 45 minutes of diggin’. And who knows who’s gonna be comin’ along in that time? Before you know it, you gotta dig a few more holes. You could be there all f***in’ night.” Jacksonville +3.0, Bucs coach Raheem Morris seems like the kind of coach isn’t prepared and “flys by the seat of his pants”. He is exactly the type of guy who would end up turning a routine single murder into a binge murdering spree to attempt to cover bases that he should have been covered. Right?

Stripes, Captain Stillman to the majority of the platoon after the strip club raid, “Tomorrow you’ll be on parade in front of General Barnicke. And when he sees what total f***-ups you really are, I will personally recommend that your whole platoon repeat the entire course of basic training.” Seattle -10. And allow me to change the context – standing in front me is Sam Bradford, Spags, Goldberg and Josh McDaniels, “Tomorrow you’ll be on display in front of a national audience. And the world sees what total f***-ups you really are, they will puke until they’re so dehydrated they won’t be able to pick up the remote to turn off the abortion of a game.” Yeah, that pretty much sums up my feelings on the Rams.

Megan Wynner’s Week 14 Picks

Colin’s Note: Megan was given the week off to address the issues Juana identified with her soccer team from above. If I were to compare her soccer team to an NFL team it would be the Rams. They both have two wins on the season. One was a game where the opponent hit four posts and they survived by a goal and the other was tied until the assistant referee (AR for those in the know) over-ruled the center referee on an off-sides call that disallowed the tying goal.

 

Picks:

Cincinnati -3.0, Detroit -9.5, Jacksonville +3.0, Tennessee +3.5, Miami -3.0,

Carolina +2.5, Baltimore -16.5, NY Jets -10.5, New England -8.0, Green Bay-12,

Arizona +4.0, Chicago +3.5, Buffalo +7.0, Dallas -4.5, Seattle-10

Raging Bull, Jake La Motta to Ray Robinson, “Hey, Ray. I never went down. You never got me down, Ray.” Washington +8.0. Did you know that Mike Shanahan owns Bill Belichick? Yup, Shanahan holds a career mark of 5-3 against the greatest coach in the history of coaching. And in the playoffs, Shanny is a perfect 1-0 against Billy boy. You can almost hear Shanahan telling Belichick, “Hey, Billy, you never beat in the playoffs. You couldn’t beat me in the playoffs, Bill!”

Colin Wynner calls the winners! Good luck!

One thought on “NFL 2011 Week 14 Picks

  1. cowboys -5.5 is gonna get paid eisaly, i know brown can cover or win. but not today as cowboys will crush themand yes you can bet straight up, have to go to a betting site but the ml is huge usually for football and not worth as the spread bet is softer on wallet.

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