Fantasy Football 2011 – Draft Day Running Log

When I was extended the invitation to write a running log chronicling a pair 2011 fantasy football drafts, I jumped at the because after all I needed a column to kick off the 2011 season and what better way than a full day of a following every move of a dozen and half fantasy geeks. Plus, I was very interested in how the lockout would affect fantasy football.

As I see it, the lockout benefits the consistently below average fantasy teams, in fact I think it elevates them to the same level as the consistently competitive. Even the self proclaimed fantasy experts are clueless (I think you qualify as a fantasy expert if you somehow have suckered a legitimate company to give you a paycheck in return for your fantasy advice)! What does that mean? Well, I think it opens up the possibility of one lucky owner hitting what I will call the “fantasy lottery ticket”. What’s the fantasy lottery ticket you ask, well it’s when your first three picks don’t miss and in the 4th-9th round you get on the right side of every running back/wide receiver time share.

Here is the format for the running log, in addition randomly documenting the activities and comments of the draft, I will “Call the round winners and losers” at the end of each round. At the end of each of the drafts, I will post my division, playoff, super bowl and total points odds for that team.

On to the log:

11:54 AM – Twenty four minutes late getting started, but after an off-season of uncertainty, we have a pick and it’s a mild surprise – Aaron Rodgers as opposed to AP. The logic? We have that right from the horse’s ass, uh, I mean mouth, “with the quarterback scoring, I wanted the sure thing in Rodgers”. Quite true, with 6 points for all touchdowns, quarterbacks consistently liter the top 10. Of course that logic takes a dramatic turn for the worse if Rodgers decides to take a casual run through the middle of the Lions defense again this year. If that happens he will be one step closer to Chris Miller (rumor has it that Miller has directions to his house in his wallet) than a “sure thing”.

The other thing about drafting a quarterback at #1 with a WR keeper is your #1 running back will be someone like Ryan Mathews. Yuck!

11:55 AM – Fireworks one minute into the draft, as the second selection is Ray Rice, which “board boy” (board boy – the monkey that shows up to help with the draft board) responds, “Seriously”! Oh man, it’s on like Donkey Kong. Let’s get some reaction from that owner:

“Yeah, seriously is right! What I am thinking, I mean I’ve only won this league the last two years. And my winning percentage in five years is a Patriot-like .700, I’ve won three total point titles in five seasons. I think what that says if I want to take Jerry Rice at number two that you should quietly put the sticker on the board and then run as fast as you to move Jerry up your own, pathetic list.”

OK, thanks for the impressive resume, big fella, but the reality is AP is the pick at number two and taking Rice over him is how fantasy season get lost in the first round!

The Annilhilators sheepishly select AP at three, almost as they are afraid that “Super Resume” is going to change their mind.

11:59 AM – Another surprise at #7 – Steven Jackson, yikes! Ahead of LeSean McCoy. I don’t like that one bit.

12:02 PM – Matt Forte makes it into the first round and immediately demands first round money.

12:03 PM – A nine minute first round ends with Greg Jennings. Noticeably absent in the first round – Roddy White. Here is the recap:

1.01

1.

Sugar Daddy’s Rodgers, Aaron GBP QB
1.02

2.

Cleveland Steamers Rice, Ray BAL RB
1.03

3.

Annihilators Peterson, Adrian MIN RB
1.04

4.

Show Me Your TDs!!!! Johnson, Andre HOU WR
1.05

5.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Vick, Michael PHI QB
1.06

6.

Fighting Squirrels Charles, Jamaal KCC RB
1.07

7.

Convicts Jackson, Steven STL RB
1.08

8.

Garage Stumbling Johnson, Calvin DET WR
1.09

9.

Clive City Council McCoy, LeSean PHI RB
1.10

10.

Desperados Turner, Michael ATL RB
1.11

11.

The Dark Side Forte, Matt CHI RB
1.12

12.

Blinkers On Jennings, Greg GBP WR

Colin Wynner calls the winner:

Clive City Council, LeSean McCoy

And the loser:

Cleveland Steamers, Ray Rice

12:05 PM – It’s a run on Chargers – Vincent Jackson, Antonio Gates and, ah, Desperados break up the run with Larry Fitzgerald. Chive City (Yea, it’s Clive, but one of the more creative things “board boy” did was jack up every team name) goes Phillip Rivers. Come on Carriage Stumbling go Mathews, let’s keep drafting Chargers. Nope, it’s Drew Brees.

12:08 PM – Some people call me, Maurice! As in MJD, or “Pocket Hercules” or “I have very little cartilage left in my knee and I feel like I may need hip replacement surgery any day now”. You gotta love the balls on Convicts – Steven Jackson and MJD – two guys with quite a bit on the odometer. Like Albert Ganz told Billy Bear, “You should have stolen a better truck, Convict!” And before I get a flurry of e-mails from those who wrote their doctorate thesis on the evolved relationship between Cates and Hammond, I know it was Billy Bear that called Ganz “convict”, but it read better than the racially insensitive “Tonto”.

12:10 PM – Cleveland Steamers draft Tom Brady, who looks to be in eff-U mode this season, similar to 2007. The surprisingly sensitive “Super Resume” Steamers reacts negatively to another comment, “I was hoping to get Brady as my backup”. Colin’s odds that Steamers drops dead of a rage induced heart attack prior to the end of the draft – 20-1, odds that he starts turning over tabling, a la Nic Cage in Leaving Las Vegas, 8-1.

12:11 PM – I love the pace of this draft so far; averaging 7 minutes a round, though how hard is it to select players in the first two round. We’ve a mini-break, enough time to check out who is in attendance – the Ray Rice twins are in da house, Joe Namath, a very shy Erik Dickerson (jersey is draped across the back of the chair) and the ghost of Anquan Boldin (Cardinals version). Pretty disappointing turn out, although the presence of Namath might bring some fantasy football groupies to the table.

2.01

13.

Blinkers On Jackson, Vincent SDC WR
2.02

14.

The Dark Side Gates, Antonio SDC TE
2.03

15.

Desperados Fitzgerald, Larry ARI WR
2.04

16.

Clive City Council Rivers, Philip SDC QB
2.05

17.

Garage Stumbling Brees, Drew NOS QB
2.06

18.

Convicts Jones-Drew, Maurice JAC RB
2.07

19.

Fighting Squirrels White, Roddy ATL WR
2.08

20.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Blount, LeGarrette TBB RB
2.09

21.

Show Me Your TDs!!!! Gore, Frank SFO RB
2.10

22.

Annihilators Jones, Felix DAL RB
2.11

23.

Cleveland Steamers Brady, Tom NEP QB
2.12

24.

Sugar Daddy’s Best, Jahvid DET RB

Colin Wynner calls winner:

Fighting Squirrels, Roddy White

and the loser:

The Dark Side, Antonio Gates

12:12 PM – The third round begins with a double pick of Hakeem Nicks! That’s a costly double pick at $5, which goes to the Little Steamers college fund. And with the knowledge of Nicks off the board, panic sets in as Sugar Drawers (see I can do it too, board boy, accept with considerable more creativity) select Anquan Boldin.

12:14 PM – Steamers continue a bizarre draft with the selection of Steve Johnson, who called out God last year after he dropped a pass, something like “this is how you do me, after all I do for you!” I love the back-handed compliment to God, right? He actually reveals God’s sovereignty, by admitting that God had full control over the play and caused him to drop the pass. But what Steve didn’t realize was that Mike Tomlin had prayed and done sooo much more that week than Stevie, so what was God to do but have Stevo drop the pass. But I like this pick, God clearly owns Steve a few touchdowns! Man, I love twitter, especially in the hands of over-reactors.

12:16 PM – This draft has two fellas volunteering their precious time to help out and foe that I give them a heart-felt, sincere thanks, so keep that in mind while reading the rest of the log, Anyway, one of them has already been mentioned, “board boy” who has the challenging job of pulling stickers from the sticker sheet and placing them on the draft board. I think the commish picks up a couple drinks for this guy, but otherwise the only payment he receives is the ability to butcher team names and make sniping comments. The other fellas is slight evolved version of “board boy”, who runs the computer, entering the pick for each team as they are made, with that in mind we will call him “data entry boy”.

The most recent pick was Miles Austin. After about 90 seconds, “Data Entry Boy” frantically screams, “Stop, stop, Austin Miles is not on the list”. Damn players with two first names!

12:17 PM – Da Boyz from NYC break up the longest positional run of the draft (4 straight WRs) with his homeboy Shonn Greene.

12:19 PM – Peyton Hillis falls all the way to 31 and is drafted by the Convicts. First off, this pick is rated as the best pick in the draft by the ANWOFFL (Arian Nation Whites Only Fantasy Football League). Secondly, if Convicts is a Bon Jovi fan my guess is his favorite song is ‘Living on a prayer’. Injury risk MJD, possibly falling off the map Steven Jackson and late season fade Payton Hillis. Could be gold, could be steel, like a steel-toed kick directly to the nuts!

12:20 PM – Reggie Wayne is drafted at 35. 35! See how crazy this draft is going. Reggie goes after Brandon Marshall, Mike Williams and Dez Bryant. Even with the corpse of Kerry Collins or Curtis “I will soon be knocking on your door asking if you will hire me as a” Painter throwing passes to him, he has to be better than Steve Johnson, right?

12:21 PM – Bizarro draft continues – as Mark Ingram goes in the third round to Blinkers On.

3.01

25.

Sugar Daddy’s Boldin, Anquan BAL WR
3.02

26.

Cleveland Steamers Johnson, Steve BUF WR
3.03

27.

Annihilators Jackson, DeSean PHI WR
3.04

28.

Show Me Your TDs!!!! Austin, Miles DAL WR
3.05

29.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Greene, Shonn NYJ RB
3.06

30.

Fighting Squirrels Bryant, Dez DAL WR
3.07

31.

Convicts Hillis, Peyton CLE RB
3.08

32.

Garage Stumbling Witten, Jason DAL TE
3.09

33.

Clive City Council Marshall, Brandon MIA WR
3.10

34.

Desperados Williams, Mike TBB WR
3.11

35.

The Dark Side Wayne, Reggie IND WR
3.12

36.

Blinkers On Ingram, Mark NOS RB (R)

Colin Wynner calls winner:

The Dark Side, Reggie Wayne

and the loser:

Sugar Daddy’s, Anquan Boldin

12:22 PM – In the words of Dick Enberg, oh my – Blinkers On just picked Chad OchoCinco. Colin’s about to start preaching, I mean preaching like “And the LORD reached out his HAND and grabbed AHOLD of ME and hasn’t LET GO” preaching. We can keep players drafted in the 4th round or later, Ingram might be a keeper, Ocho will definitely not be a keeper, why not flip those picks? Well, if Ingram leads the NFL in touchdowns this year, the league thanks you.

Now onto OchoCinco, I wish that Aaron Hernandez would have steadfastly refused to give up his number 85, which would have forced OchoCinco to take a different number. Colin’s odds on what Ocho would have done:

Changed number to 15 and last name to Quince – 5-1

Changed number to 18 and name to UNOOCHO – 6-1

Force Belichick to list him as a linebacker, take number 58 and change name to CINCOOCHO – 12-1

Retire – 1000-1

Take whatever number the Patriots will give him, keep his name and mouth shut and do what all malcontents do when they get to the Patriots – fall in line – 1-2

12:23 PM – Interesting comment on where to hang the draft board – Da BOYZ says put in up there (pointing to a TV screen), board boy looks confused and states, “that’s a TV screen”. Shockingly true!

12:25 PM – Dallas Clark is now off the board. Peyton Manning is now all alone in the “Green” room, shaking his head in disbelief.

12:27 PM – Fearsome Threesome is up – yeah, somehow Cleveland Steamers is confused with another team, from another league. You know because the same person cannot possibly think about having a different team name. Unfazed, Steamers take the ANWOFFL #2 overall pick (Wes Velker) at a bargain of #47.

12:29 PM – It’s never a good sign when all you hear after a pick is the shuffling of papers! Just happened with the selection of Kellen Winslow, Jr. The good news for Sugar Daddy’s – you can keep Winslow next year.

4.01

37.

Blinkers On Ochocinco, Chad NEP WR
4.02

38.

The Dark Side Bradshaw, Ahmad NYG RB
4.03

39.

Desperados Nicks, Hakeem NYG WR
4.04

40.

Clive City Council Clark, Dallas IND TE
4.05

41.

Garage Stumbling Bowe, Dwayne KCC WR
4.06

42.

Convicts Lloyd, Brandon DEN WR
4.07

43.

Fighting Squirrels Romo, Tony DAL QB
4.08

44.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Moreno, Knowshon DEN RB
4.09

45.

Show Me Your TDs!!!! Davis, Vernon SFO TE
4.10

46.

Annihilators Holmes, Santonio NYJ WR
4.11

47.

Cleveland Steamers Welker, Wes NEP WR
4.12

48.

Sugar Daddy’s Winslow, Kellen TBB TE

Colin Wynner calls winner:

Cleveland Steamers, Wes Welker

and the loser:

Sugar Daddy’s, Kellen Winslow JR

12:34 PM – My favorite part of fantasy drafts is the post-pick, simple comment of “NICE”. Though fantasy owners will never admit, the simple “NICE” by another owner, not only validates the pick but also gives said owner Alpha-Male status, well at least until the next “NICE”. Well, that is until some wise-n-heimer decides to randomly dish out “NICE” comments for “NOT NICE” picks. That somewhat ruins the moment.

The “NICE” meter just hit 4 with the selection of Mario Manningham.

12:35 PM – “NICE” x5, as Matty Ice gets taken. Maybe it’s just me, but doesn’t feel like there are Matt Ryan type quarterbacks available on waivers every week? He finished last season as the #8 overall QB, but 15th is average points per week behind fantasy studs like David Garrard, Kyle Orton and Ryan Fitzpatrick. Sure he has a new toy in Julio Jones, but still I think he has been over-hyped since his rookie season.

12:37 PM – Ryan Mathews breaks the two pick streak of “NICE”. Although Mathews is merely in his second season he is in a make or break year. If he fails to become the GUY in SD this year, the Chargers will use a high pick next season on a running back and Mathews will be toast. Sad but true, running backs are not given much time to adjust to the league.

12:38 PM – Jimmy Graham closes out round 5, yea, I love that kid too but in the 5th round? I guess if you want a player you have to guarantee that you get him. If this were an auction draft, Graham would have gone for about twice his reasonable value – I heard several gasps (or more like “R U EFFING KIDDING ME”) when Graham’s name was called.

5.01

49.

Sugar Daddy’s Wells, Chris ARI RB
5.02

50.

Cleveland Steamers Harvin, Percy MIN WR
5.03

51.

Annihilators Foster, Arian HOU RB
5.04

52.

Show Me Your TDs!!!! Colston, Marques NOS WR
5.05

53.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Maclin, Jeremy PHI WR
5.06

54.

Fighting Squirrels Wallace, Mike PIT WR
5.07

55.

Convicts Manning, Peyton IND QB
5.08

56.

Garage Stumbling Lynch, Marshawn SEA RB
5.09

57.

Clive City Council Manningham, Mario NYG WR
5.10

58.

Desperados Ryan, Matt ATL QB
5.11

59.

The Dark Side Mathews, Ryan SDC RB
5.12

60.

Blinkers On Graham, Jimmy NOS TE

Colin Wynner calls winner:

Convicts, Peyton Manning

and the loser:

Show Me Your TDs, Marques Colston

12:41 PM – “Tim Hightower”, “NICE!” x6

12:43 PM – Deangelo Williams is finally selected in the 6TH round! I’ve got 34 million reasons why that is a great pick.

12:45 PM – Sidney Rice is selected with pick #69, which coincidental is the O/U of fantasy points for Rice this year. Yea, I am not a big fan of Sidney Rice this year.

6.01

61.

Blinkers On Jackson, Fred BUF RB
6.02

62.

The Dark Side Smith, Steve CAR WR
6.03

63.

Desperados Daniels, Owen HOU TE
6.04

64.

Clive City Council Johnson, Chris TEN RB
6.05

65.

Garage Stumbling Hightower, Tim WAS RB
6.06

66.

Convicts Thomas, Mike JAC WR
6.07

67.

Fighting Squirrels Williams, DeAngelo CAR RB
6.08

68.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Moss, Santana WAS WR
6.09

69.

Show Me Your TDs!!!! Rice, Sidney SEA WR
6.10

70.

Annihilators Stafford, Matthew DET QB
6.11

71.

Cleveland Steamers Mendenhall, Rashard PIT RB
6.12

72.

Sugar Daddy’s Addai, Joseph IND RB

Colin Wynner calls winner:

Fighting Squirrels, DeAngelo Williams

and the loser:

Show Me Your TDs, Sidney Rice

12:46 PM – Break time, I’ve heard good things about the burgers from a few of the owners. Unfortunately, the waitress must have thought today was opposite day because my burger is damn near raw though I ordered it medium-well. That puts me in a real jam because if you send back a under cooked food item, there is about a 100% chance that you will get an over-cooked item back. So, it’s between dripping blood and the risk of E.Coli or trying to swallow a hockey puck. Time for cliché man to make an appearance:

“I will stick with the burger that brought me”

“Look, it’s easy to blame the waitress or the cook or hell, maybe even the grill, but we win and lose as a team, I don’t point fingers”

12:57 PM – Interesting picks to start off the 6th round – Danny Amendola, who is allegedly the Wes Welker of the Rams offense and Cedric Benson, who is falling in this draft like he is hurt or facing prison time. Look, Benson isn’t a top ten running back, but I think the hate on the Bengals has gone way too far. This team is two years removed from a division championship, they have rid themselves of the drama-queen and a quarterback who was never the same after Kimo Von Oelhoffen launched himself into his knee like a Donkey Kong crazy barrel and their defense is still good enough to keep them in games. Add it all up and I think we will see Ced much closer to 2009, than 2010.

1:00 PM – James Starks of Green Bay just went, which would have been great if the owner announced the pick with, “I’ll take the starting Green Bay running back, James Starks”. Ryan Grant was drafted with the previous pick.

1:01 PM – “Nice job, Pierre.” Pierre Garcon is the first Pierre drafted. The reference is from an old Miller High Life commercial, where the narrator states, “It’s hard to respect the French when you have to bail them out of two big ones in a one century, but we have to hand it to them on mayonnaise. Nice job, Pierre!”

1:02 PM – What’s that smell? It’s a run on defenses.

7.01

73.

Sugar Daddy’s Amendola, Danny STL WR
7.02

74.

Cleveland Steamers Benson, Cedric CIN RB
7.03

75.

Annihilators Collie, Austin IND WR
7.04

76.

Show Me Your TDs!!!! Schaub, Matt HOU QB
7.05

77.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Grant, Ryan GBP RB
7.06

78.

Fighting Squirrels Starks, James GBP RB
7.07

79.

Convicts Garcon, Pierre IND WR
7.08

80.

Garage Stumbling Jones, Julio ATL WR (R)
7.09

81.

Clive City Council Green, A.J. CIN WR (R)
7.10

82.

Desperados Burress, Plaxico NYJ WR
7.11

83.

The Dark Side Floyd, Malcom SDC WR
7.12

84.

Blinkers On Sims-Walker, Mike STL WR

Colin Wynner calls winner:

Cleveland Steamers, Cedric Benson

and the loser:

Sugar Daddy’s, Danny Amendola

1:05 PM – The, intentional, name butchering by “board boy” is starting to get annoying to even an easy going guy like me – the latest – Fearsome Foreskin, which could be somewhat funny, if there was actually a team in this league with a similar name, but the closest team to that name would beeither Fighting Squirrels or Clive City. At this point I wish we had a mute running the draft board! The owners are stuck in middle of inane comments from board boy and data entry boy’s gay voice inflection that would make Eddie Murphy’s “Ramon” bit from Beverly Hills Cop seem Jack Palance masculine. Only 26 rounds to go, of course, we get to replace these guys at the end of the first draft, so we got that going for us.

1:08 PM – The Gronk is selected setting up the classic line, “You know we don’t get points successful blocks” and “I’ll take the pass catching tight end in New England, Aaron Hernandez”.

1:09 PM – Ah, there is the first defense – the Green Bay Packers. Interesting, not sure that’s the defense I would select to break the cherry.

1:11 PM – Data Entry Boy – “Did Lee Evans get traded?” I need him and 10 guys just like him for my 12 team $10,000 a team, winner take all league.

8.01

85.

Blinkers On

Manning, Eli NYG QB

8.02

86.

The Dark Side

Freeman, Josh TBB QB

8.03

87.

Desperados

Tolbert, Mike SDC RB

8.04

88.

Clive City Council

Thomas, Daniel MIA RB (R)

8.05

89.

Garage Stumbling

Moore, Lance NOS WR

8.06

90.

Convicts

Gronkowski, Rob NEP TE

8.07

91.

Fighting Squirrels

Pettigrew, Brandon DET TE

8.08

92.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC

Tomlinson, LaDainian NYJ RB

8.09

93.

Show Me Your TDs!!!!

Packers, Green Bay GBP Def

8.10

94.

Annihilators

Steelers, Pittsburgh PIT Def

8.11

95.

Cleveland Steamers

Evans, Lee BAL WR

8.12

96.

Sugar Daddy’s

Lewis, Marcedes JAC TE

Colin Wynner calls winner:

Desperados, Mike Tolbert

and the loser:

Convicts, Ron Gronkowski

1:13 PM – Dustin Keller goes with the 4th pick of the 9th round and, of course, we get a comment from “the help”, “Dustin Keller is Helen Kellers great uncle”. Holy freaking crap, for that to have happened this would have to be the scenario – over a hundred and fifty years ago Dustin Keller was out hunting on the plains, when he slipped and fell into a crevasse, where he was frozen solid. In 2002, he was discovered by scientists and thawed out. He then attended Purdue University, was drafted by the NFL and became. . .Unfrozen Caveman Tight End!

Either that or they meant to say he is Helen Keller’s great-great-great nephew.

1:16 PM – Nice job, Pierre, part II. As Pierre Thomas is taken, six rounds after Mark Ingram and by the same team. I predict that owning both guys is going to drive Blinkers nuts the entire season, to the point that eventually both will be in their starting lineup.

1:17 PM – Tony Gonzalez is taken. I remember Jerry Rice holding on too long, to the point where he was being effectively covered by linebackers. The Bears defensive coordinated is installed a special defense where the nose tackle is going to have coverage responsibility on the tight end. Time to hang ’em up Tony!

1:19 PM – “The Law Firm” is drafted, aka, BenJarvus Green-Ellis.

9.01

97.

Sugar Daddy’s Knox, Johnny CHI WR

9.02

98.

Cleveland Steamers Stewart, Jonathan CAR RB

9.03

99.

Annihilators Spiller, C.J. BUF RB

9.04

100.

Show Me Your TDs!!!! Keller, Dustin NYJ TE

9.05

101.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Jets, New York NYJ Def

9.06

102.

Blinkers On Thomas, Pierre NOS RB

9.07

103.

Convicts Bush, Reggie MIA RB

9.08

104.

Garage Stumbling Meachem, Robert NOS WR

9.09

105.

Clive City Council Bears, Chicago CHI Def

9.10

106.

Annihilators Gonzalez, Tony ATL TE

9.11

107.

The Dark Side Cutler, Jay CHI QB

9.12

108.

Blinkers On Green-Ellis, BenJarvus NEP RB
Colin Wynner calls winner:

Blinkers On, Pierre Thomas

and the loser:

Annihilators, Tony Gonzalez

1:27 PM – The draft is starting to drag. The most interesting thing that happen this round is the selection of Braylon Edwards by Steamers. Apparently, Steamers tagged Edwards with the nickname “Kid Drop” during his abomination of a season in 2008. You know the one where he dropped like five balls a game, had 10 games of less than 10 points and scored three touchdowns. Wow, a season like that is unforgivable, but Steamers has found it in his heart to forgive or maybe he just forgot because his draft has gone south from the moment he decided to take Ray Rice over Adrian Peterson. What he needs right now is a Men In Black mind eraser pen. Think about it – it would work on several levels, he could quickly switch the Rice pick in the computer and blame the jacked up board (where the stickers are permanent) on board boy.

That aisde, Braylon is un-draftable this year as he is at best the third option (V. Davis is a clear-cut #1 and for some reason, the 49ers think the Craptree is a legit receiver) on a team with no quarterback.

10.01

109.

Fighting Squirrels

Olsen, Greg CAR TE

10.02

110.

The Dark Side

Jacobs, Brandon NYG RB

10.03

111.

Desperados

Branch, Deion NEP WR

10.04

112.

Clive City Council

Ford, Jacoby OAK WR

10.05

113.

Garage Stumbling

Jennings, Rashad JAC RB

10.06

114.

Convicts

Burleson, Nate DET WR

10.07

115.

Blinkers On

Miller, Zach SEA TE

10.08

116.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC

Celek, Brent PHI TE

10.09

117.

Show Me Your TDs!!!!

Woodhead, Danny NEP RB

10.10

118.

Annihilators

Carter, Delone IND RB (R)

10.11

119.

Cleveland Steamers

Edwards, Braylon SFO WR

10.12

120.

Sugar Daddy’s

Britt, Kenny TEN WR

Colin Wynner calls winner: Blinkers On, Pierre Thomas

And the loser: Cleveland Steamers, Braylon Edwards

1:32 PM – With tight ends running thin Steamers reach for an oft-injured Chris Cooley. Remember Steamers, no bonus points are awarded for having a hot wife or exposing your junk on the internet.

1:33 PM – Roy Williams is taken. Poor Roy, his off-season included being jettisoned from the Cowboys and having his girlfriend reject his marriage proposal, but try to keep the $65,000 ring. How bad it that? Well, I am guessing the she contemplated actually marrying him just for the ring, setting him up to cheat on her, divorcing him and getting the ring. But she decided that she couldn’t even bear being married to him for one minute. OUCH!

1:37 PM – Greg Little is selected right before Jordy Nelson. Who the hell is Greg Little and why is he being drafted in the 11th round?

11.01

121.

Sugar Daddy’s

Chargers, San Diego SDC Def

11.02

122.

Cleveland Steamers

Cooley, Chris WAS TE

11.03

123.

Desperados

Bradford, Sam STL QB

11.04

124.

Show Me Your TDs!!!!

Cassel, Matt KCC QB

11.05

125.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC

Williams, Roy CHI WR

11.06

126.

Fighting Squirrels

Flacco, Joe BAL QB

11.07

127.

Convicts

Kolb, Kevin ARI QB

11.08

128.

Garage Stumbling

McFadden, Darren OAK RB

11.09

129.

Clive City Council

Ringer, Javon TEN RB

11.10

130.

Desperados

Patriots, New England NEP Def

11.11

131.

The Dark Side

Little, Greg CLE WR (R)

11.12

132.

Blinkers On

Nelson, Jordy GBP WR

Colin Wynner calls winner: Convicts, Kevin Kolb

And the loser: Cleveland Steamers, Chris Cooley

1:39 PM – Michael Crabtree nets the 7th “NICE” of the draft. Here’s the deal with Crabtree, he just doesn’t look athletic at all, in fact he looks gangly and un-coordinated (honestly watch him run a route, then watch Andre Johsnon run a route – it’s not close), that it feels like an average athletic corner can completely shut him down. Wow, that 49er team is a mess.

1:40 PM – Whacha talkin’ bout Willis? McGahee is selected, it doesn’t warrant a nice, but it should.

1:42 PM – 12th round is no place for a kicker. Seriously, the difference between the best and worst kicker every year is less than three points a week. And the best kicker changes significantly from year-to-year, i.e. it’s completely random. Need more proof this is too early – the next kicker won’t be taken until the 15th round at the earliest.

1:45 PM – So, Steamers has won this league two straight years? Really, if not for the SeaBass pick, Steamers would have the third straight loser pick with the Emmanuel Sanders. I guess Steamers isn’t too worried about having players available for week one.

12.01

133.

Blinkers On

Ravens, Baltimore BAL Def

12.02

134.

The Dark Side

Crabtree, Michael SFO WR

12.03

135.

Desperados

McGahee, Willis DEN RB

12.04

136.

Clive City Council

Royal, Eddie DEN WR

12.05

137.

Garage Stumbling

Janikowski, Sebastian OAK PK

12.06

138.

Convicts

Eagles, Philadelphia PHI Def

12.07

139.

Fighting Squirrels

Jones, James GBP WR

12.08

140.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC

Bess, Davone MIA WR

12.09

141.

Show Me Your TDs!!!!

Helu, Roy WAS RB (R)

12.10

142.

Annihilators

Scott, Bernard CIN RB

12.11

143.

Cleveland Steamers

Sanders, Emmanuel PIT WR

12.12

144.

Sugar Daddy’s

McNabb, Donovan MIN QB

Colin Wynner calls winner: Desperados, Willis McGahee

And the loser: Garage Stumbling, Sebastian Janikowski

1:50 PM – Steamers seems to have sobered up and comes back with a “NICE” pick, Michael Bush.

1:51 PM – Mark Sanchez goes two picks before the biggest Jet fan in the entire world, Da Boyz from NYC. Followed by another “NICE” pick – Steve Breaston, which seems appropriate for him to go to a team called “Show Me Your TD’s”! Why hasn’t board boy modified Show Me Your TD’s name? Is he deathly afraid that “data entry boy” will fulfill his request!

1:53 PM – Clive City adds Chad Henne to form the lethal combination of Henne-to-Marshall. Poor Brandon Marshall.

1:54 PM – Jerome Simpson, whose stats would have qualified him for last season’s fantasy playoff MVP but my guess is nobody outside of Jerome’s immediately family actually started him. From “data entry boy”, “We can’t find him in the list”. Me – “Look under last names beginning with S!”

13.01

145.

Sugar Daddy’s

Driver, Donald GBP WR

13.02

146.

Cleveland Steamers

Bush, Michael OAK RB

13.03

147.

Annihilators

Sanchez, Mark NYJ QB

13.04

148.

Show Me Your TDs!!!!

Breaston, Steve KCC WR

13.05

149.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC

Shiancoe, Visanthe MIN TE

13.06

150.

Fighting Squirrels

Saints, New Orleans NOS Def

13.07

151.

Convicts

Ward, Hines PIT WR

13.08

152.

Garage Stumbling

Brown, Ronnie PHI RB

13.09

153.

Clive City Council

Henne, Chad MIA QB

13.10

154.

Desperados

Simpson, Jerome CIN WR

13.11

155.

The Dark Side

Orton, Kyle DEN QB

13.12

156.

Blinkers On

Roethlisberger, Ben PIT QB

Colin Wynner calls winner: Show Me Your TDs, Steve Breaston

And the loser: Clive City Council, Chad Henne

1:58 PM – Cliché man just made another appearance – Sugar Daddy’s was asked what he thought of his team and his chances. “We’re just going to play the games as their scheduled, with the roster we’ve got”. Really, it’s fantasy football, which is now an industry that employees thousands of people who don’t know anything more than my mailman or my dog, go out on a limb and call your shot – “I’ve clearly got the best team and I am looking forward to destroying this league”. I mean really, I’ve never been much of a fantasy trash talker, but maybe it’s time for this league to start running smack. Does it really matter? It’s about 90% luck anyway – Steamers has won two straight titles, but if the Colts don’t take a knee on an undefeated season in 2009, Stumbling Drunk in the Garage is the champ that year. Last year featured a lucky post-season run as well. Therefore, I say run the smack, it makes the league more interesting.

14.01

157.

Blinkers On

Benn, Arrelious TBB WR

14.02

158.

The Dark Side

Finley, Jermichael GBP TE

14.03

159.

Desperados

Miller, Heath PIT TE

14.04

160.

Clive City Council

Gresham, Jermaine CIN TE

14.05

161.

Garage Stumbling

Fitzpatrick, Ryan BUF QB

14.06

162.

Convicts

Robiskie, Brian CLE WR

14.07

163.

Fighting Squirrels

Decker, Eric DEN WR

14.08

164.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC

Barber, Marion CHI RB

14.09

165.

Show Me Your TDs!!!!

Williams, Ricky BAL RB

14.10

166.

Annihilators

Roberts, Andre ARI WR

14.11

167.

Cleveland Steamers

Cook, Jared TEN TE

14.12

168.

Sugar Daddy’s

Torain, Ryan WAS RB

Colin Wynner calls winner: Fighting Squirrels, Eric Decker

And the loser: Convicts, Brian Robiskie

2:07 PM – The 15th is the best round of the draft with four of the selections having some real sleeper potential, like position top 15 finish, potential – Jerome Harrison, Detroit Def, Colt McCoy and Aaron Hernandez.

2:08 PM – The ugly part of the round – “Who are Alex Smith and Brian Hartline?”, which is the question to the Jeopardy answer, “These two players, drafted in the 15th round, will be on waivers by week three.”

15.01

169.

Sugar Daddy’s

Hartline, Brian MIA WR

15.02

170.

Cleveland Steamers

Harrison, Jerome DET RB

15.03

171.

Annihilators

Lions, Detroit DET Def

15.04

172.

Show Me Your TDs!!!!

Moeaki, Tony KCC TE

15.05

173.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC

Smith, Alex SFO QB

15.06

174.

Fighting Squirrels

Smith, Steve PHI WR

15.07

175.

Convicts

McCoy, Colt CLE QB

15.08

176.

Garage Stumbling

Hernandez, Aaron NEP TE

15.09

177.

Clive City Council

Hester, Devin CHI WR

15.10

178.

Desperados

Snelling, Jason ATL RB

15.11

179.

The Dark Side

Hardesty, Montario CLE RB

15.12

180.

Blinkers On

Graham, Earnest TBB RB

Colin Wynner calls winner: Annihilators, Detroit

And the loser: DA BOYZ FROM NYC, Alex Smith

2:15 PM – A little mini-run on Rams receivers, with Kendricks and Danario Alexander going early in the round.

2:17 PM – The kicker run begins four rounds after Seabass; see I told you so. And ironically it begins with the same owner, Stumbling, who selects Alex Henery of the Eagles. I think they have the kicker spot is covered for them!

2:18 PM – I know it’s the 16th round, but nothing says “lockdown” defense like losing your top four cornerbacks in pre-season, as the Giants did.

16.01

181.

Blinkers On

Ward, Derrick HOU RB

16.02

182.

The Dark Side

Alexander, Danario STL WR

16.03

183.

Desperados

Kendricks, Lance STL TE (R)

16.04

184.

Clive City Council

Hunter, Kendall SFO RB (R)

16.05

185.

Garage Stumbling

Henery, Alex PHI PK (R)

16.06

186.

Convicts

Murray, DeMarco DAL RB (R)

16.07

187.

Fighting Squirrels

Jones, Thomas KCC RB

16.08

188.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC

Mason, Derrick NYJ WR

16.09

189.

Show Me Your TDs!!!!

Kaeding, Nate SDC PK

16.10

190.

Annihilators

Crosby, Mason GBP PK

16.11

191.

Cleveland Steamers

Giants, New York NYG Def

16.12

192.

Sugar Daddy’s

Gostkowski, Stephen NEP PK

Colin Wynner calls winner: Desperados, Lance Kendricks

And the loser: Garage Stumbling, Alex Henery

2:24 PM – Atlanta defense goes first, then Dallas. Yikes, if those two ever see a starting lineup… well, bad things, man, bad things!

2:25 PM – The Cleveland Foursome or Fearsome Steamers or Fearsome Foreskin; I have literally never seen someone completely butcher a name for 17 straight rounds, it’s clearly intentional at this point, which is fine because my intuition tells me that he won’t get the last laugh.

It’s full-fledged kicker or pick off the scrap-heap time.

2:26 PM – Based on Arian Foster’s hamstring, Annihilators may have the steal of the draft in Ben Tate.

2:31 PM – Tood Heap, Todd Heap, did everyone forget about Todd Heap? The Arizona Carindals medical staff won’t forget about him! Regardless, “NICE”!

17.01

193.

Sugar Daddy’s

Falcons, Atlanta ATL Def

17.02

194.

Cleveland Steamers

Cowboys, Dallas DAL Def

17.03

195.

Annihilators

Tate, Ben HOU RB

17.04

196.

Show Me Your TDs!!!!

Bennett, Earl CHI WR

17.05

197.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC

Browns, Cleveland CLE Def

17.06

198.

Fighting Squirrels

Rackers, Neil HOU PK

17.07

199.

Convicts

Hartley, Garrett NOS PK

17.08

200.

Garage Stumbling

Moore, Denarius OAK WR (R)

17.09

201.

Clive City Council

Bryant, Matt ATL PK

17.10

202.

Desperados

Sproles, Darren NOS RB

17.11

203.

The Dark Side

Brown, Josh STL PK

17.12

204.

Blinkers On

Heap, Todd ARI TE

Colin Wynner calls winner: Blinkers On, Todd Heap

And the loser: Cleveland Steamers, Dallas Cowboys

2:35 PM – Mercuifully, the draft is about to come to end. Two “NICE” picks in round 18 – Fred Davis, the likely starter in Washington when Cooley can’t get healthy and Bernard Berrian, McNabb’s lone deep threat in Minnesota.

2:38 PM – Show Me You TD’s drafts Dezmon Briscoe, “board boy” asks out loud, “Use it in a sentence, please”. OK, I will give it a shot, “Dezmon Briscoe, filled with vitriol after enduring three hours of incessant diatribe, violently attacks board boy, leaving him motionless in a pool of his own blood!” How is that? Need the origin or a repeat of the word?

That aside, Dezmon Briscoe is the fourth option in an offense that likes to run-first and has a running quarterback, but I guess it’s the 18th.

18.01

205.

Blinkers On

Carpenter, Dan MIA PK

18.02

206.

The Dark Side

Chiefs, Kansas City KCC Def

18.03

207.

Desperados

Feely, Jay ARI PK

18.04

208.

Clive City Council

Smith, Torrey BAL WR (R)

18.05

209.

Garage Stumbling

Jaguars, Jacksonville JAC Def

18.06

210.

Convicts

Davis, Fred WAS TE

18.07

211.

Fighting Squirrels

Berrian, Bernard MIN WR

18.08

212.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC

Folk, Nick NYJ PK

18.09

213.

Show Me Your TDs!!!!

Briscoe, Dezmon TBB WR

18.10

214.

Annihilators

Vereen, Shane NEP RB (R)

18.11

215.

Cleveland Steamers

Cundiff, Billy BAL PK

18.12

216.

Sugar Daddy’s

Gibson, Brandon STL WR

Colin Wynner calls winner: Fighting Squirrels, Bernard Berrian

And the loser: Show Me Your TDs, Dezmon Briscoe

2:41 PM – And that be it, while waiting for the next draft here are the playoff, super bowl and total point odds for each team (based on the stat projections for best drafted starting lineup, depth, late season schedule and division):

Odds to Win

Team

Division

Division

Make Playoffs

Super Bowl

Total Points

Clive City Council MONTANA

105

-250

250

250

Annihilators MONTANA

115

-240

275

275

Blinkers On MONTANA

425

375

2000

2500

Fighting Squirrels MONTANA

290

225

1500

1700

Cleveland Steamers NAMATH

100

-275

250

300

DA BOYZ FROM NYC NAMATH

500

175

1100

1400

Garage Stumbling NAMATH

250

100

850

950

The Dark Side NAMATH

225

-125

650

700

Convicts STARR

-110

-300

400

450

Desperados STARR

185

120

750

800

Sugar Daddy’s STARR

550

200

1000

1200

Show Me Your TD’s!!! STARR

105

-150

550

600

3:14 PM – The SFL draft is minutes away and after looking over the board complete with keepers, it’s going to be very interesting at the top. By my count five of the top seven players are keepers – Rodgers, Foster, Charles, Vick and McCoy. What does that mean? Well, if you have pick number three, you’re going to be going number two in your pants! Unless there is a major upset, the top two have to Peterson and Rice. Who is next? My guess is it will be either Andre Johnson or Rashard Mendenhall. But the safest pick there would be Andre.

3:16 PM – Oh, yikes, the commish was just interrupted as he was going over league business. He doesn’t look happy, like he is ready to go Kimbo Slice on the owner, ironically it’s “data entry boy”, who has a team in this draft. I wonder have many of the remaining 12 teams, would jump in and pull the commish off him? My guess is nine teams would turn their head away, and the remaining three would allow it go on for about five minutes and then begrudgingly break it up.

Of course, it could’ve been worse for the commish, he could have had his team heckled for 18 rounds in the prior league draft.

3:18 PM – Next year is the 20th anniversary of this league and the commish mentions that it should be done in Vegas. Sweet – hopefully, they will retain me as the official documenter of draft (oh and pay for my trip, as well). Anyway that is an awesome idea for a league that has been to together this long, but you have to do it right. So, with that as the back drop here are Colin Wynner’s rules for a memorable Vegas Fantasy draft:

First the minimum ground rules to stage such an event:

  • It has to be well-coordinated and planned as though it were a business conference. And the planning needs to start around the first of the year with the “conference” agenda set in stone by the NFL draft.
  • All owners need to commit to attend in person or the trip doesn’t happen. This is a big event, fellas, treat it as such. My guess is these guys have been the one yearly constant in the midst of changing jobs, cities, spouses, sexual orientations and, for a few of you, the yearly change of underwear.

And for a truly memorable experience we do the following:

  • Let’s assume the draft is scheduled for Friday, everyone arrives by Thursday late afternoon and heads to dinner together Thursday night. This is just the owners, no spouses, no kids, etc.
  • The draft order is determined on Friday morning with a little Vegas twist. We will call it the “Casino Cash Grab Power Hour”. Each team is given the task of turning $100 into as much money as they can within an hour. At the end of the hour, the team with the most money gets the first pick, second most, second pick and so on. Here is the catch – you have to donate 50% of your winnings to the league prize pool. For example, you hit a Royal Flush on video poker that pays you $1200, you donate $550 to the prize pool. To break ties you use the golf tournament posting method, first in = last out (or lower pick). That will break any ties. So, if you happen to bust out, lose your $100 on a single bet 28 seconds after competition begins, you post the first $0. You can then spend the next 59:32 rooting for the house against your fellow owners.
  • Entry fee is raised by $75 to $225 a team; with $350 of the extra amount going towards a fully stocked conference room ($22 a head should cover it, even in Vegas) for the draft.
  • Another $350 of additional funds will be used by the owners who finished 13th and 14th in the “Casino Cash Grab Power Hour” game. These two owners are tasked with using the $350 dollars to round up as many hookers as possible. . . I’m KIDDING, just making sure you’re still with me!! Those two owners will take the $350 and place football futures bets. Any money won, including the initial stake, will go to the overall prize pool.
  • Saturday morning, we’re up and out to the golf course for a little 4-man scramble; losers pay for dinner that night.
  • Saturday afternoon, we play an NFL jersey scavenger hunt for the remaining $350. The object of the game is to get a picture with any random person wearing an NFL jersey; points are as follows: 1 point for a picture with random person in an NFL jersey (has to a jersey), 3 points for a picture with a jersey of a player on your SFL roster; bonus points for players drafted in rounds 1 through 5. Every point you get, gets you a piece of the $350.
  • Finally, you get the hotel to bring in a Blackjack table and dealer during the draft, that will give us something to do while waiting for Sidewinders to make their pick!

3:20 PM – Tell me that isn’t a memorable trip and completely worthy of the 20th anniversary of this fine league?

3:22 PM – We are underway, 8 minutes early no less. And boom, boom – AP and Ray Rice go #1 and #2, the next pick is the key pick of the draft and it’s – Andre Johnson. That might be a highest pick record for Andre, bettered the previous draft position of #4.

3:24 PM – Six picks in and we have a lengthy delay. Really, is this that hard? It’s the first round gor goodness sake. And after a three minute delay the pick is Javhid Best. The response from DA BOYZ is “We waited that long. For that?” I caution him that he just open himself up to a comeback of “Yea, I know, but I was having a tough time deciding between Best and your mother, but in the end I remembered that you mother is worthless, so I went with Best!”

3:28 PM – Darren McFadden welcome to the club of fantasy first round picks. Hopefully, he won’t get drunk and embarrass himself at the club dinner!

3:30 PM – DA BOYZ goes Phillip Rivers at #12, wow, what a crazy first round – Best, McFadden, Jennings and Rivers all gone in the first round. Who is left for the second round?

3:33 PM – Hold on, what has gotten into the Desert Dawgs this year? They just drafted Steven Jackson, which is by far their best pick in years.

I am concerned about an 11 minute first round. If these owners are looking like Don Draper after Betty confronted him about “shoe box” in the first round, imagine what they will be like by the 6th round.

1.01

1.

Daemons Peterson, Adrian MIN RB

1.02

2.

Sidewinders Rice, Ray BAL RB

1.03

3.

Fearsome Foursome Johnson, Andre HOU WR

1.04

4.

Convicts Mendenhall, Rashard PIT RB

1.05

5.

Weekend Warriors Jones-Drew, Maurice JAC RB

1.06

6.

The GSW Rule White, Roddy ATL WR

1.07

7.

Ragin Asian Best, Jahvid DET RB

1.08

8.

Avengers Turner, Michael ATL RB

1.09

9.

Desperados McFadden, Darren OAK RB

1.10

10.

Junk Yard Dogs Fitzgerald, Larry ARI WR

1.11

11.

BeefGravy AllStars Jennings, Greg GBP WR

1.12

12.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Rivers, Philip SDC QB

1.13

13.

DESERT DAWGZ Jackson, Steven STL RB

1.14

14.

Chefs Brady, Tom NEP QB

Colin Wynner calls winner: Sidewinders, Ray Rice

And the loser: Ragin Asian, Javhid Best

3:35 PM – I am seriously concerned that someone has kidnapped the Desert Dawgs and replaced them with a “fantasy expert” – Drew Brees makes it back-to-back great picks for them. Maybe, just maybe the Dawgs have had their fill of playing .300 ball and being eliminated from the playoff race by week five.

3:37 PM – DA BOYZ smoking on a BLOUNT, as in LeGarrette Blount; with pick #17! Hmm, out on a limb here, but I would be willing to bet that Blount won’t be in the top 17 amongst RB/WR/TE. Better options would’ve been Frank Gore or Matt Forte.

3:39 PM – “I will take, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH …. Matt Ryan”, wow, Junk Yard, maybe you should’ve re-grouped after the third “AH”. Matt Ryan? 2nd round pick? Tiers, anyone? Ahead of Manning, Romo and Schuab.

3:41 PM – Part of what makes this so draft fun is the random competent picks mixed in with the majority of incompetent picks. Like for example, Jahvid Best goes at 7, so you expect that owner to come back in the 2nd round with like a Desean Jackson-type of pick, but then out of nowhere comes Matt Forte. BRILLANT! Never mind that said owner has Best, Forte and Chris Johnson as his first two picks and keeper. Enjoy watching Tavaris Jackson destroy your fantasy season.

3:42 PM – I can tell the Forte pick irritated Cleveland Steamers, er, I mean Fearsome Foreskin, ha ha ha ha, that is sooo funny that I can’t contain my laughter even though I sound like a 12-year old girl, sorry I digress. The pick – Felix Jones. Wow, it looks like after he dominated the league for consecutive seasons the clock is striking midnight for Foursome.

3:45 PM – So, Foursome adds his fourth player, Steve Johnson. Foursome must know something no one else knows, because he just drafted Steve Johnson two rounds too high for the second consecutive draft. It’s safe to assume that there is no bigger Steve Johnson fan this year than Foursome.

Judging by the comments, Steve Johnson might not have been drafted for quite some time – a sampling, “Where does he play, Buffalo?” and “Is he a Wide Receiver?” Yea, I am pretty sure that is other owners way of heckling Fearsome. Unfortunately, Foursome cannot retort because a mere regular season record of 23-3 doesn’t have the weight that back-to-back titles do.

3:47 PM – While waiting the obligatory 3 minutes to pick, Mr. Sidewinder confusingly asks, “Why is Reggie Wayne still available?” That is a great question, why don’t we debate it – right now! What’s another 15-20 minutes amongst friends?

3:48 PM – Mercifully, round 2 comes to end after 13 minutes, at current pace we will be finishing around 10PM and this log will run into the 20K word range.

2.01

15.

Chefs Greene, Shonn NYJ RB

2.02

16.

DESERT DAWGZ Brees, Drew NOS QB

2.03

17.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Blount, LeGarrette TBB RB

2.04

18.

BeefGravy AllStars Johnson, Calvin DET WR

2.05

19.

Junk Yard Dogs Ryan, Matt ATL QB

2.06

20.

Desperados Gore, Frank SFO RB

2.07

21.

Avengers Manning, Peyton IND QB

2.08

22.

Ragin Asian Forte, Matt CHI RB

2.09

23.

Fearsome Foursome Jones, Felix DAL RB

2.10

24.

Weekend Warriors Romo, Tony DAL QB

2.11

25.

Convicts Williams, Mike TBB WR

2.12

26.

Fearsome Foursome Johnson, Steve BUF WR

2.13

27.

Sidewinders Wayne, Reggie IND WR

2.14

28.

Daemons Schaub, Matt HOU QB

Colin Wynner calls winner: BeefGravy AllStars, Calvin Johnson

And the loser: Fearsome Foursome, Steve Johnson

3:52 PM – We just waited three minutes for Ryan Grant to be selected by Sidewinders, quick someone tell him it’s not 2010 and he didn’t just get the steal of the draft.

3:56 PM – Now there is a surprise – Jason Witten goes before Antonio Gates! That’s a bold move, but only bold because we live in a world where everyone plays fantasy football, therefore we are told that Antonio Gates is the best tight end, so as sheep we fall in line. The thing is very few, if any “fantasy experts” ever recap their seasons, and if they do, they rarely mention the bad picks. In 18 weeks, we might look back on Witten ahead of Gates as a no-brainer or Steve Johnson in the second round as a steal!

4:06 PM – 14 minutes to complete round three – I went to a fantasy draft and a Red Sox/Yankee game broke out! Just about every pick is taking longer than the expected time; and to make matters worse round three might have been the most boring round of ho-hum players in the history of any draft. We have to come up with a way to speed up this draft for years 21+, next year no one will care if the “Vegas” draft takes 24 hours to complete.

3.01

29.

Daemons Mathews, Ryan SDC RB

3.02

30.

Sidewinders Grant, Ryan GBP RB

3.03

31.

The GSW Rule Roethlisberger, Ben PIT QB

3.04

32.

Convicts Hillis, Peyton CLE RB

3.05

33.

Weekend Warriors Jackson, DeSean PHI WR

3.06

34.

The GSW Rule Witten, Jason DAL TE

3.07

35.

Ragin Asian Welker, Wes NEP WR

3.08

36.

Avengers Gates, Antonio SDC TE

3.09

37.

Desperados Bradshaw, Ahmad NYG RB

3.10

38.

Junk Yard Dogs Moreno, Knowshon DEN RB

3.11

39.

BeefGravy AllStars Austin, Miles DAL WR

3.12

40.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Clark, Dallas IND TE

3.13

41.

DESERT DAWGZ Colston, Marques NOS WR

3.14

42.

Chefs Holmes, Santonio NYJ WR

Colin Wynner calls winner: Chefs, Santonio Holmes

And the loser: Sidewinders, Ryan Grant

4:07 PM – Nice job by Chefs taking Mark Ingram at the top of the 4th round instead of the bottom of the 3rd. At least you open Ingram up to being a potential keeper, you know if you want to keep a guy who rushes for 700 yards and 3 TDs.

4:08 PM – Ah, there is the Desert Dawgs I know and love – Rob Gronkowski in the 4th round, with Jermichael Finley available. Here boys and girls we see the difference between a bold choice and a flat out bad one. The only way Gronk out-scores Finley is if a series of random events occur that cannot possibly being predicted/expected, or even assumed. I am so confident that if both players play a full season and the Gronk out-scores Finley, I will a plate full of Gronk droppings.

4:13 PM – Is it too early to think we are witnessing the fantasy football draft equivalent of a baseball perfect game? Since I make the rules for this log it’s not too early; Desperados make a trade to move up and pluck Jermichael Finley right before Avengers, who undoubtedly would have taken him. Great, great move, you can tell right now that Despo has great stuff today. Several reasons this is a great move – 1. Finley is a beast; 2. Desperados roster is four deep with players capable of the “no effing way game” (Nicks, Gore, McFadden and Finley); 3. He didn’t give up the farm – 5th/6th round picks for 4th/8th; (we will see what this turns out to be in terms of players but I would guess it will be something like Johnny Knox/Jonathon Stewart for Finley and probably a lockdown defense. Hmm, yea I’d do that deal; 4. The other owners, who are paying attention, are furious with this deal.

4:15 PM – Random things you love to hear at your fantasy draft, “Does Arian Foster play in Atlanta?” Uh, buddy, do you have friends, who have a large amount of disposable income and love fantasy football?

4:17 PM – The round ends with a mini-run on WR, in order, Bowe, Boldin, Dez Bryant, Lloyd, Manningham and Ocho. Of that group Manningham will stand out, nice pick Sidewinders even if you had to quadruple check all 23 sheets you brought to the draft before making the selection.

4.01

43.

Chefs Ingram, Mark NOS RB (R)

4.02

44.

DESERT DAWGZ Gronkowski, Rob NEP TE

4.03

45.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Maclin, Jeremy PHI WR

4.04

46.

BeefGravy AllStars Bush, Reggie MIA RB

4.05

47.

Junk Yard Dogs Finley, Jermichael GBP TE

4.06

48.

Desperados Nicks, Hakeem NYG WR

4.07

49.

Avengers Bowe, Dwayne KCC WR

4.08

50.

Ragin Asian Boldin, Anquan BAL WR

4.09

51.

Fearsome Foursome Rodgers, Aaron GBP QB

4.10

52.

Weekend Warriors Bryant, Dez DAL WR

4.11

53.

Convicts Lloyd, Brandon DEN WR

4.12

54.

The GSW Rule Foster, Arian HOU RB

4.13

55.

Sidewinders Manningham, Mario NYG WR

4.14

56.

Daemons Ochocinco, Chad NEP WR

Colin Wynner calls winner: Desperados, Jermichael Finley

And the loser: Desert Dawgs, Rob Gronkowski

4:19 PM – Break time? Really, haven’t there been enough breaks waiting for people to pick?

4:30 PM – Sidewinders with great consternation states, “I don’t want to do this this early”. Hmm, is he talking about making a pick within a reasonable time or taking a player 10 rounds too early? It’s the latter; Joe Flacco is the early pick! In fairness, there are not a lot of quarterback options left.

4:35 PM – Remember the above trade, well, piece one of the deal is Johnny Knox. So, right now we have Finley for Knox.

4:39 PM – A common theme – DeAngelo Williams falling to the 5th round. DeAngelo will finish in the top 10 amongst RBs this season. Compare and contrast the last two picks – DeAngelo Williams and Daniel Thomas. Barring injury we might see the biggest gap between two players drafted one spot apart in the history of fantasy football. There should be some reward for have the distinction of drafting a player in the middle of a “Steamer”. We can call it “Finding a diamond in a fresh steamer”. Let me think about the parameters.

5.01

57.

Daemons Marshall, Brandon MIA WR

5.02

58.

Sidewinders Flacco, Joe BAL QB

5.03

59.

The GSW Rule Addai, Joseph IND RB

5.04

60.

Convicts Stafford, Matthew DET QB

5.05

61.

Weekend Warriors Williams, DeAngelo CAR RB

5.06

62.

Fearsome Foursome Thomas, Daniel MIA RB (R)

5.07

63.

Ragin Asian Britt, Kenny TEN WR

5.08

64.

Avengers Harvin, Percy MIN WR

5.09

65.

Junk Yard Dogs Green-Ellis, BenJarvus NEP RB

5.10

66.

Junk Yard Dogs Knox, Johnny CHI WR

5.11

67.

BeefGravy AllStars Lynch, Marshawn SEA RB

5.12

68.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Benson, Cedric CIN RB

5.13

69.

DESERT DAWGZ Stewart, Jonathan CAR RB

5.14

70.

Chefs Jackson, Vincent SDC WR

Colin Wynner calls winner: Weekend Warriors, DeAngelo Williams

And the loser: Junk Yard Dogs, Ben Jarvus Green-Ellis

4:41 PM – JEWELio Jones was just selected.

4:42 PM – You know the best way to prevent a run on defenses or kickers? Draft one of those positions too early – BeefGravy takes the Steelers defense in the 6th and no one bothers to follow suit.

4:43 PM – In an on-going story, we have another piece of the puzzle to fill in the blanks of the above trade, Brandon Jacobs. Wow, this has the potential to get very ugly if that 8th round pick by Desperados has a pulse.

6.01

71.

Chefs Jones, Julio ATL WR (R)

6.02

72.

DESERT DAWGZ Driver, Donald GBP WR

6.03

73.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Spiller, C.J. BUF RB

6.04

74.

BeefGravy AllStars Steelers, Pittsburgh PIT Def

6.05

75.

Junk Yard Dogs Jacobs, Brandon NYG RB

6.06

76.

Junk Yard Dogs Kolb, Kevin ARI QB

6.07

77.

Avengers Wells, Chris ARI RB

6.08

78.

Ragin Asian Johnson, Chris TEN RB

6.09

79.

Fearsome Foursome Thomas, Mike JAC WR

6.10

80.

Weekend Warriors Pettigrew, Brandon DET TE

6.11

81.

Convicts Collie, Austin IND WR

6.12

82.

The GSW Rule Moore, Lance NOS WR

6.13

83.

Sidewinders Wallace, Mike PIT WR

6.14

84.

Daemons Evans, Lee BAL WR

Colin Wynner calls winner: Convicts, Austin Collie

And the loser: Desert Dawgz, Donald Driver

4:45 PM – The pace is picking up. Ok, so for the “Finding a diamond in a fresh steamer” award here is what has to happen

  • We take the two previous players drafted at the same position and the next two players at the position drafted.
  • The player in the middle must out-score the two players drafted before combined AND the two players drafted after combined

I think that pretty much sums up Fantasy Football – you need luck (two players selected before both suck, thus taking away the chance of drafting them) and skill (two players after were bypassed).

Now has it ever happened? Off the top of my head, my best guess would be Randy Moss in 2007. Nope! Moss scored 384 points that year. The two WR drafted before him, Javon Walker and Roy Williams scored a combined 237. The two after him Houshmandzadeh and Colston combined for 551 points.

According to my crack research team, it happened in 2009 – pick #55 was running back Thomas Jones, who scored 216 points that season. Picks 43 and 44 were Larry Johnson and Lendale White, respectively and they combined to socre 100.50 points, CHECK. Picks 58 and 60 were Marshawn Lynch and Willie Parker, who combined to score 125.15 points, CHECK. Congrats to Convicts, in the 4th round no less!

4:49 PM – The perfecto for Desperados is intact! They’re living the dream right now; everything is falling into their laps. Owen Daniels falls to them after Kellen Winslow is taken just ahead of them. He has Daniels and Finley at tight end, in a league where TE receptions are worth twice WR receptions. Ugh!

4:52 PM – Nice job, Pierre! Thomas that is! Thomas is taken 47 overall picks and 14 running backs after Mark Ingram and barring injury, my guess is Thomas will be within that range at the end of the season. Fearsome has taken three straight players with the last name of Thomas. Watch out for Thurman Thomas in the 8th round.

7.01

85.

Daemons Winslow, Kellen TBB TE

7.02

86.

Desperados Daniels, Owen HOU TE

7.03

87.

The GSW Rule Ward, Hines PIT WR

7.04

88.

Convicts Moss, Santana WAS WR

7.05

89.

Weekend Warriors Jackson, Fred BUF RB

7.06

90.

Fearsome Foursome Thomas, Pierre NOS RB

7.07

91.

Ragin Asian Crabtree, Michael SFO WR

7.08

92.

Avengers Sims-Walker, Mike STL WR

7.09

93.

Sidewinders Burress, Plaxico NYJ WR

7.10

94.

Junk Yard Dogs Hightower, Tim WAS RB

7.11

95.

BeefGravy AllStars Lewis, Marcedes JAC TE

7.12

96.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Meachem, Robert NOS WR

7.13

97.

DESERT DAWGZ Tomlinson, LaDainian NYJ RB

7.14

98.

Chefs Gonzalez, Tony ATL TE

Colin Wynner calls winner: Desperados, Owen Daniels

And the loser: Avengers, Mike Sims-Walker

5:04 PM – And there is the second defense, the Eagles, followed closely by the Packers and the Ravens.

Hmm, not sure about the Ravens, they’re getting a little long in the tooth, but four games against the Browns and Bengals certainly doesn’t hurt.

5:06 PM – And we can close the book on the JYD/Desperados trade – Finley/Josh Freeman for Brandon Jacobs and Johnny Knox. Well, pretty much all day long JYD has been using a voice inflection that would make RIP Taylor sound like Andre the Giant. And well let’s just leave it at – it seems fitting considering what happened to JYD on this trade!

5:12 PM – Maybe there is something to double, triple checking before you make your pick – Sidewinders with a “NICE” pick – Zach Miller.

8.01

99.

Chefs Eagles, Philadelphia PHI Def

8.02

100.

DESERT DAWGZ Williams, Ricky BAL RB

8.03

101.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC McCoy, LeSean PHI RB

8.04

102.

BeefGravy AllStars Bush, Michael OAK RB

8.05

103.

Desperados Freeman, Josh TBB QB

8.06

104.

Desperados Smith, Steve CAR WR

8.07

105.

Avengers Packers, Green Bay GBP Def

8.08

106.

Ragin Asian Massaquoi, Mohamed CLE WR

8.09

107.

Fearsome Foursome Ravens, Baltimore BAL Def

8.10

108.

Weekend Warriors Rice, Sidney SEA WR

8.11

109.

Convicts Graham, Jimmy NOS TE

8.12

110.

The GSW Rule Williams, Roy CHI WR

8.13

111.

Sidewinders Miller, Zach SEA TE

8.14

112.

Daemons Davis, Vernon SFO TE

Colin Wynner calls winner: Sidewinders, Zach Miller

And the loser: Ragin Asian, Mohamed Massaquoi

5:14 PM – Desperados is at it again, this is literally Boston Rob on last season’s survivor, he is making us look like a bunch of first-timers. A.J. Green in the 9th round, who will end up being his keeper for the next two years and probably a top 10 WR each season.

5:18 PM – Darren Sproles in 9th round? Come on, are you really going to play Sproles in anything more than a backup/bye week flll-in role? In a vacuum it’s a nice pick because Sproles will probably score equal to where he was drafted, but most likely he will have three games where he scores the majority of his points, good luck finding those three games.

5:22 PM – DA BOYZ get the Jets defense, little does he know that the Jets will give up 30 points in every game this season!

9.01

113.

Daemons Chargers, San Diego SDC Def

9.02

114.

Desperados Green, A.J. CIN WR (R)

9.03

115.

The GSW Rule Sproles, Darren NOS RB

9.04

116.

Convicts Charles, Jamaal KCC RB

9.05

117.

Weekend Warriors Keller, Dustin NYJ TE

9.06

118.

Fearsome Foursome Branch, Deion NEP WR

9.07

119.

Ragin Asian Manning, Eli NYG QB

9.08

120.

Avengers Starks, James GBP RB

9.09

121.

Sidewinders Jennings, Rashad JAC RB

9.10

122.

Junk Yard Dogs Jones, James GBP WR

9.11

123.

BeefGravy AllStars Celek, Brent PHI TE

9.12

124.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Jets, New York NYJ Def

9.13

125.

DESERT DAWGZ Bears, Chicago CHI Def

9.14

126.

Chefs McGahee, Willis DEN RB

Colin Wynner calls winner: Desperados,A.J. Green

And the loser: BeefGravy AllStars, Brent Celek

5:35 PM – Another 10 minute break to allow a few select owners to go puff on a cancer stick.

5:36 PM – Nice job, Pierre! Garcon. We simply do not have enough NFL players named Pierre!

5:37 PM – With the explosion of fantasy football in the media and on the web, I think the time has come for saavy fantasy players to incorporate “bluffing” into their repertoire. Here is a “bluffing” scenario:

  • Let’s say you no interest in drafting Peyton Hillis, so you obviously want someone else to take him; you quietly mention to a friend, but make sure you’re within earshot of an owner who has a pick coming up, “Hey, I can’t believe this guy is still available.” Next, “Is he hurt?” Then much more quietly and mostly inaudible, “He is next for me”. Pause for about thirty seconds, shake your head in disbelief and then the hook, “I cannot believe Hillis is still there, I might approach owner X about a trade to move up and get him”. Most importantly, when your target takes the bait and drafts Hillis, you have to act like the world has just come to end – stare at him, shake your head disapprovingly and make faces like your constipated. You will know have that owner in the bag for the rest of the draft.

Why will the above work? Well, since there is no such thing as a fantasy expert, we are all idiots or experts depending on the pick and that can vary wildly from pick to pick. Therefore every fantasy owner wants an approval and respect from fellow owners, so if you think you just hi-jacked another owners draft, it makes the draft for the hi-jacking owner.

5:39 PM – Uh no, the perfect game by Desperados is over, Malcolm Floyd is the pick that breaks it up. Look for all intents and purposes, Floyd is a fine pick, right? He is a freaky athlete and the number two receiver on a very explosive offense, so it seems like a great pick. But here’s the deal with Floyd, this will be his eighth season and we keep waiting for him to break out based on the factors above. Guess what? It’s not going to happen, he just doesn’t have it.

10.01

127.

Chefs Cassel, Matt KCC QB

10.02

128.

DESERT DAWGZ Heap, Todd ARI TE

10.03

129.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Garcon, Pierre IND WR

10.04

130.

BeefGravy AllStars Cutler, Jay CHI QB

10.05

131.

Junk Yard Dogs Tolbert, Mike SDC RB

10.06

132.

Desperados Floyd, Malcom SDC WR

10.07

133.

Avengers Snelling, Jason ATL RB

10.08

134.

Ragin Asian Cooley, Chris WAS TE

10.09

135.

Fearsome Foursome Olsen, Greg CAR TE

10.10

136.

Weekend Warriors Edwards, Braylon SFO WR

10.11

137.

Convicts Lions, Detroit DET Def

10.12

138.

The GSW Rule Patriots, New England NEP Def

10.13

139.

Sidewinders Giants, New York NYG Def

10.14

140.

Daemons Nelson, Jordy GBP WR

Colin Wynner calls winner: Fearsome Foursome, Greg Olsen

And the loser: Desperados, Malcom Floyd

5:44 PM – I am watching the NFL Network as they cut to different pre-season games with highlights and selected live periods. It has me wondering if that should (or does) influence owners in a real-time way. For example, the Dallas defense just scored a touchdown, does an owner see that and then star or otherwise move them up? I say “yes” owners will do that, though seemingly impossible to track, I am going to track the following players who have done something spectacular in the last 15 minutes:

  • Dallas defense, probably should not be drafted or drafted late
  • Bernard Berrian, every time I look up Berrian is being targeted, that should be mean he will be drafted very soon!
  • Steve Johnson, Oh wait, some ass-clown already drafted him based on his future performance in this pre-season game. Foursome might consider waiting for the highlight of the Steve Johnson 52-yard touchdown and then immediately try to trade him for the “picked” value.
  • Antonio Brown – two touchdowns in a span of about 12 minutes, he definitely will be drafted shortly.
  • Nate Burleson – just caught a touchdown pass; should be drafted soon

5:49 PM – Kansas City defense? Really? Good luck with that!

11.01

141.

Daemons Brown, Ronnie PHI RB

11.02

142.

Sidewinders Torain, Ryan WAS RB

11.03

143.

The GSW Rule Bess, Davone MIA WR

11.04

144.

Convicts Bradford, Sam STL QB

11.05

145.

Weekend Warriors Chiefs, Kansas City KCC Def

11.06

146.

Fearsome Foursome Benn, Arrelious TBB WR

11.07

147.

Ragin Asian Saints, New Orleans NOS Def

11.08

148.

Avengers Simpson, Jerome CIN WR

11.09

149.

Desperados Little, Greg CLE WR (R)

11.10

150.

Junk Yard Dogs Shiancoe, Visanthe MIN TE

11.11

151.

BeefGravy AllStars Barber, Marion CHI RB

11.12

152.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Mason, Derrick NYJ WR

11.13

153.

DESERT DAWGZ Breaston, Steve KCC WR

11.14

154.

Chefs Hester, Devin CHI WR

Colin Wynner calls winner: Avengers, Jerome Simpson

And the loser: Weekend Warriors, Kansas City

5:49 PM – Boom, boom – Dallas Defense and Nate Burleson off the board after pre-season fantasy success is displayed on live TV.

5:51 PM – “Steve Slaton”, is he still in the league? Well, you just never know – I just watched Arian Foster limp off the field with a hamstring injury. That is not a good sign, second time in three weeks his hammy has given him problems. And you never know when Derrick Ward will get hurt. And Ben Tate is brittle and could go down. And if all that happens, Slaton might get a shot to be in a time share with a guy like Clinton Portis.

5:55 PM – I love Jerome Harrison this season for a few reasons – 1. He never got much of a chance last year after being injured and then having Hillis go nuts; 2. Jahvid Best is the 2011 version of the late 90s “Fragile Freddy”; and 3. Even if Best stays healthy, Harrison will get a fair share of carries to keep Best fresh!

“Best Fresh” – that’s catchy!

5:59 PM – GSW Rule is protecting his investment in Arian Foster by selecting Ben Tate, the third sting running back in Houston.

12.01

155.

Chefs Jones, Jacoby HOU WR

12.02

156.

DESERT DAWGZ Cowboys, Dallas DAL Def

12.03

157.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Burleson, Nate DET WR

12.04

158.

BeefGravy AllStars Ford, Jacoby OAK WR

12.05

159.

Junk Yard Dogs Taylor, Chester CHI RB

12.06

160.

Desperados Fitzpatrick, Ryan BUF QB

12.07

161.

Avengers Sanchez, Mark NYJ QB

12.08

162.

Ragin Asian Slaton, Steve HOU RB

12.09

163.

Fearsome Foursome Harrison, Jerome DET RB

12.10

164.

Weekend Warriors McNabb, Donovan MIN QB

12.11

165.

Convicts Roberts, Andre ARI WR

12.12

166.

The GSW Rule Tate, Ben HOU RB

12.13

167.

Sidewinders Orton, Kyle DEN QB

12.14

168.

Daemons Williams, Mike SEA WR

Colin Wynner calls winner: Fearsome Foursome, Jerome Harrison

And the loser: Ragin Asian, Steve Slaton

6:00 PM – We need to implement 1 minute per pick rules, with the NFL rule that if your time runs out the next team can sneak in front of you and make a pick.

6:03 PM – It’s the 13th round, so let the run on kickers begin . . . UGH! Not one but two owners draft a kicker in this round – Nate Kaeding first, then SeaBass.

SeaBass might have one of the more punch-able faces in the NFL, maybe the world. You know the kind of face that you cannot focus on what they’re saying because you want to “plant one of these right in their grill”, similar to what Derek Huff’s business partner wanted to do to Brennan Huff in Step Brothers.

Hmmm, that gets me thinking about punch-able faces. DA BOYZ and I are discussing in between 13th round picks. We list the obvious names – Belichick, Brady, A-Rod, Jeter, Girardi, Favre, etc. But then we move to actual punch-able faces, guys un-related to sports hatred. My list starts and ends with Judd Nelson. Ever Breakfast Club was released
I have wanted to fight that guy! It has to be because of that smarmy look or his voice or maybe the fact that he was a terrible actor. And he always casted as the alpha male, when the reality was he is closer to the nose-pickin, nerd than the school bully.

DA BOYZ agrees that he would own an inflatable, Jedd Nelson punching bag (you know the one with a sand pouch at the bottom, but he adds his own – a couple of Nelson’s cohorts in the “Brat Pack”– Andrew McCarthy and James Spader. Oh, yea, that is the triumvirate of early 90s punch-able faces.

After that brief little run of those “Brat Pack” movies, the only one of those three that has done anything outside of ABC Family is Spader, who had a significant role on Boston Legal.

All right, I looked it up, remember Nelson was always cast as the alpha male, yet here are the stats for each:

Spader 5′ 10″

Nelson 5′ 10″

McCarthy 5′ 9″

Now, if you asked me to guess the heights of those guys – I would have guessed Nelson 6’2″ and the other guys 5′ 8″ or so. Not that a guy 5’10” can’t be an alpha male, just Nelson can’t be. I also have to mention that of the three only the aged Spader still has a freakin’ crazy punch-able face. The other two are still punch-able, but not ape-turds punchable like Spader.

Back to the draft – surprisingly only three picks were made during that dissertation!

13.01

169.

Daemons McCluster, Dexter KCC RB

13.02

170.

Sidewinders Kaeding, Nate SDC PK

13.03

171.

The GSW Rule Carter, Delone IND RB (R)

13.04

172.

Convicts Helu, Roy WAS RB (R)

13.05

173.

Weekend Warriors Forsett, Justin SEA RB

13.06

174.

Fearsome Foursome McCoy, Colt CLE QB

13.07

175.

Ragin Asian Vereen, Shane NEP RB (R)

13.08

176.

Avengers Janikowski, Sebastian OAK PK

13.09

177.

Desperados Woodhead, Danny NEP RB

13.10

178.

Junk Yard Dogs Rams, St. Louis STL Def

13.11

179.

BeefGravy AllStars Higgins, Johnnie Lee PHI WR

13.12

180.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Smith, Alex SFO QB

13.13

181.

DESERT DAWGZ Garrard, David JAC QB

13.14

182.

Chefs Jones, Thomas KCC RB

Colin Wynner calls winner: GSW Rule, Delone Carter

And the loser: Sidewwinders, Nate Kaeding

6:19 PM – 12,000 + words, so we are switching to rapid fire, running log time.

6:23 PM – The 14th round will forever be known as the round of the TE! Here are some bold predictions on these TEs

  • Lance Kendricks will lead the Rams in receptions and receiving TDs
  • Heath Miller will be Heath Miller, adequate at times, great at times, Karl Malone in the NBA Finals at times
  • Aaron Hernandez, I’ve already made the prediction that he will easily out-perform the Gronk. Boldly, I predict that Hernandez will dropped by week three, picked by week six and lead all TEs in fantasy points over the last six weeks of the season
  • Jared Cook – I like him, Hasselbeck loves to hit (shame on you, I mean throw to) the TE. And if/when the Locker gets on the field, he will be so confused that he will dump off to the TE roughly a 100 times a game.
  • Ben Watson – I like Evan Moore MOORE, but Colt McCoy is going to be among the top 10 quarterbacks by year’s end and he has to throw to someone.
  • Jermaine Gresham – Again a big, pass catching TE is a rookie quarterback’s best friend.

14.01

183.

Chefs Falcons, Atlanta ATL Def

14.02

184.

DESERT DAWGZ Brown, Josh STL PK

14.03

185.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Hernandez, Aaron NEP TE

14.04

186.

BeefGravy AllStars Vick, Michael PHI QB

14.05

187.

Junk Yard Dogs Hartley, Garrett NOS PK

14.06

188.

Desperados Miller, Heath PIT TE

14.07

189.

Avengers Cook, Jared TEN TE

14.08

190.

Ragin Asian Watson, Ben CLE TE

14.09

191.

Fearsome Foursome Kendricks, Lance STL TE (R)

14.10

192.

Weekend Warriors Ringer, Javon TEN RB

14.11

193.

Convicts Murray, DeMarco DAL RB (R)

14.12

194.

The GSW Rule Gresham, Jermaine CIN TE

14.13

195.

Sidewinders Royal, Eddie DEN WR

14.14

196.

Daemons Gostkowski, Stephen NEP PK

Colin Wynner calls winner: DA BOYZ FROM NYC, Aaron Hernandez

And the loser: Chefs, Atlanta Falcons

6:36 PM – There is Antonio Brown, by who else but Desperado, who is finishing up a one-hitter with 17 Ks.

6:39 PM – I got to have a Cardinal, give me LaRod Stephens-Howling. Umm, ok!

6:41 PM – The Cardinals defense, or lack thereof goes in the 15th.

15.01

197.

Daemons Brown, Donald IND RB

15.02

198.

Sidewinders Hardesty, Montario CLE RB

15.03

199.

The GSW Rule Amendola, Danny STL WR

15.04

200.

Convicts Robiskie, Brian CLE WR

15.05

201.

Weekend Warriors Bironas, Rob TEN PK

15.06

202.

Fearsome Foursome Moore, Denarius OAK WR (R)

15.07

203.

Ragin Asian Rackers, Neil HOU PK

15.08

204.

Avengers Armstrong, Anthony WAS WR

15.09

205.

Desperados Brown, Antonio PIT WR

15.10

206.

Junk Yard Dogs Cardinals, Arizona ARI Def

15.11

207.

BeefGravy AllStars Vinatieri, Adam IND PK

15.12

208.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Browns, Cleveland CLE Def

15.13

209.

DESERT DAWGZ Stephens-Howling, LaRod ARI RB

15.14

210.

Chefs Beckum, Travis NYG TE

Colin Wynner calls winner: Desperados, Antonio Brown

And the loser: Junk Yard Dogs, Arizona Cardinals

6:43 PM – Round 16, the end is near. These are the rounds for PK, backup Defenses and fliers. Unfortunately, a couple teams are still looking weekly starters.

6:47 PM – I love the Fred Davis pick by Convicts; Cooley is on his last leg, literally.

16.01

211.

Chefs Crosby, Mason GBP PK

16.02

212.

DESERT DAWGZ Feely, Jay ARI PK

16.03

213.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Folk, Nick NYJ PK

16.04

214.

BeefGravy AllStars Murphy, Louis OAK WR

16.05

215.

Junk Yard Dogs Bryant, Matt ATL PK

16.06

216.

Desperados Henery, Alex PHI PK (R)

16.07

217.

Avengers 49ers, San Francisco SFO Def

16.08

218.

Ragin Asian Hunter, Kendall SFO RB (R)

16.09

219.

Fearsome Foursome Moeaki, Tony KCC TE

16.10

220.

Weekend Warriors Lindell, Rian BUF PK

16.11

221.

Convicts Davis, Fred WAS TE

16.12

222.

The GSW Rule Suisham, Shaun PIT PK

16.13

223.

Sidewinders Cundiff, Billy BAL PK

16.14

224.

Daemons Walter, Kevin HOU WR

Colin Wynner calls winner: Convicts, Fred Davis

And the loser: Weekend Warriors, Rian Lindell

6:49 PM – Nice round here. Cam Newton, Andy Dalton give a couple teams a chance a high round keeper. Berrian in the 17th, is all based on his performance tonight.

Last quick tangent – I want to put together a new type of fantasy league, where the draft takes place right before week seven. The catch – you play a full fantasy schedule beginning in week one and you cannot drop a player drafted for three weeks. Before the first pick, you already have six games that will need to be back played. This adds levels of strategy and complexity that simply do not exist in the standard snake draft.

You have to decide how early to draft a player who might nothing more than a one-week wonder. You have to decide between those big points in one single and points going forward. For example, Jason Snelling scored 98.65 points last season, but 37.85 of those points came in week two. If an owner takes Snelling early, the owner who played him, might have to adjust to get enough points to beat him in week two or decide to give that game up.

Six back-dated games are enough that you simply cannot draft the best possible team going forward and be guaranteed to compete.

Anybody want IN?

17.01

225.

Daemons Dalton, Andy CIN QB (R)

17.02

226.

Sidewinders Campbell, Jason OAK QB

17.03

227.

The GSW Rule Henne, Chad MIA QB

17.04

228.

Convicts Longwell, Ryan MIN PK

17.05

229.

Weekend Warriors Gibson, Brandon STL WR

17.06

230.

Fearsome Foursome Berrian, Bernard MIN WR

17.07

231.

Ragin Asian Newton, Cam CAR QB (R)

17.08

232.

Avengers Buehler, David DAL PK

17.09

233.

Desperados Texans, Houston HOU Def

17.10

234.

Junk Yard Dogs Bennett, Earl CHI WR

17.11

235.

BeefGravy AllStars Schilens, Chaz OAK WR

17.12

236.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Decker, Eric DEN WR

17.13

237.

DESERT DAWGZ Choice, Tashard DAL RB

17.14

238.

Chefs Ridley, Stevan NEP RB (R)

Colin Wynner calls winner: Fearsome Foursome, Bernard Berrian

And the loser: Sidewinders, Jason Campbell

6:58 PM – So, I lied one more fantasy league pitch for you.

A combo fantasy/survivor league. The setup is like a normal league with divisions, head-to-head schedule, playoffs, etc. The catch – you can submit any legal lineup you want any week, but you can only use each player once per season.

Again, the strategy and complexity go well beyond that of a normal league, with the added bonus of you don’t have to prepare for the draft.

18.01

239.

Chefs Leshoure, Mikel DET RB (R)

18.02

240.

DESERT DAWGZ Rodgers, Jacquizz ATL RB (R)

18.03

241.

DA BOYZ FROM NYC Scott, Bernard CIN RB

18.04

242.

BeefGravy AllStars Boss, Kevin OAK TE

18.05

243.

Junk Yard Dogs Fasano, Anthony MIA TE

18.06

244.

Desperados Douglas, Harry ATL WR

18.07

245.

Avengers Williams, Carnell STL RB

18.08

246.

Ragin Asian Cotchery, Jerricho PIT WR

18.09

247.

Fearsome Foursome Gould, Robbie CHI PK

18.10

248.

Weekend Warriors Buccaneers, Tampa Bay TBB Def

18.11

249.

Convicts Shipley, Jordan CIN WR

18.12

250.

The GSW Rule Smith, Steve PHI WR

18.13

251.

Sidewinders Sanders, Emmanuel PIT WR

18.14

252.

Daemons Cribbs, Josh CLE WR

Colin Wynner calls winner: Daemons, Josh Cribbs

And the loser: Junk Yard Dogs, Anthony Fasano

7:05 PM – The marathon draft running log has, finally, come to an end.

Here are the playoff, super bowl and total point odds for each team (based on the stat projections for best drafted starting lineup, depth, late season schedule and division):

Odds to Win

Team

Division

Division

Make Playoffs

Super Bowl

Total Points

Convicts NORTH

100

-275

300

325

Daemons NORTH

125

-125

450

500

Ragin Asian NORTH

150

120

850

950

Junk Yard Dogs NORTH

275

250

2000

3000

Desert Dawgs NORTH

400

350

3000

3500

Beef Gravy All-Stars CENTRAL

-120

-300

250

250

Avengers CENTRAL

110

-150

600

650

Weekend Warriors CENTRAL

200

100

1000

1200

Sidewinders CENTRAL

250

150

1250

1500

Chefs CENTRAL

450

350

1800

2000

Desperados SOUTH

115

-175

350

500

GSW Rule SOUTH

125

-150

450

600

DA BOYZ FROM NYC SOUTH

150

-125

700

1000

Fearsome Foursome SOUTH

150

-125

900

1200


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